Category Archives: Losing my mother-the advancement of Alzheimers

Stories of my 89-year old mother’s daily, weekly and continuing fights with dementia and alzheimzers.

Sighted

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Beam me up, Scotty! Where did they go?

Beam me up, Scotty! Where did they go?

I have plans for my blog, an idea well thought out and ready to explode and be published.  Then something catches my eye and engages my brain.  This can be a dangerous situation for those riding in the car with me or alongside me on the highway.  I see amazing scenes.  Maybe everyone does.  My slightly eclectic and visual brain spots things, analyzes them, and marvels over them.  I want to photograph each thing that surprises me or startles me in my day.  I keep my camera with me most of the time and thanks to cell phones and iPads, I usually have some way to record the moment.

Today was an unusual day.  Although the threat of ice and snow have been more common than ever this winter in coastal, bordering on sub-tropical south Texas, I have not seen many flakes.  I have seen many, many days this winter with freezing, nasty weather but no real snow.  Shortly after 6:00 am this morning, as I pulled through the guard gates of my office, suddenly my headlights picked up huge flakes falling rapidly covering my wind shield and the palm trees.  It was as if a giant snow globe had broken open and poured on my little car.

Sorry, no photos of that but it was pretty magical and short-lived.  No sooner had I done my public service by posting warnings of snow and sleet falling in Houston on my Facebook, did it quit as soon as it started.  But I swear it happened.  I have names of witnesses that work with me that can verify my story.

My next sighting may have been the most bizarre but I have no way to get anyone to verify it.   All I can tell you for sure is that someone is missing a pig, either pot-bellied or  a young one.  For those of you not familiar with Houston we have a beltway around our city, like many, that connects into the major interstates.   If I could have gotten a picture without creating a traffic back up that would tie things up for hours, I would have gotten a picture of this.  I was on the beltway southbound just about to hit the merge to 59 south.  This is ALL an elevated section of highway with no way for an animal to wander out on the highway.  In Wharton, cows, deers, horses, and various other mammals routinely get hit on the highway.  Lauren has hit two deer.  I have taken out one giant cow and almost totaled my car.  Country issues.

But here I am doing my elevated city commute and the cars ahead of me are dramatically veering around a brown object in the road.  As it was my turn to pass, I could clearly see a young brown pig with his little snout and cloven feet visible lying dead on the highway.  How does this happen? Did this little poor thing drop from the back of a truck?  Was he a pet that jumped to his death from the family car?  Did pigs finally fly and then crash to earth?  I have no reasonable explanation for what I saw.  I have not been drinking, at least nothing but a Diet Coke. Arguably the weirdest thing I have ever seen.

Then to keep the trend of my crazy commute going, I pulled into the nursing home to see the scene above blanketing the front entrance.  My first thought was God has come to take them all home and they won’t need walkers or wheelchairs in Heaven.  Then I wondered if they had all been abducted by aliens.  It was like an old folk ghost town.  I got into the lobby to discover the folks were out “joy riding” in the center’s bus.  They didn’t need their walking appliances so they had been left behind in the drive.  Trustworthy people in my little town, for sure.  I had really been hoping for a good alien abduction.

Ally and her girls met me at my mom’s room.  Mom had no clue who any of them were but laughed with delight over the antics between big sister Jordyn and baby Kendyll.  Ally tried to explain who we all were but momma didn’t get it.

Momma had just had her hair done and was happy to pose with Jo.

Momma had just had her hair done and was happy to pose with Jo.

I swear Jordyn will be bigger than her great grandma soon.  It was a pretty great sighting to see momma smile with delight over the girls.

Home now, we trying to keep temps over freezing and my water on tonight. It’s going be a five dog night for me!  Horses are blanketed heavily against the cold.  Stay safe and warm.

Five dog night in full effect here.

Five dog night in full effect here.

Taking Stock

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Bruno saying (as he nudges him along) be my new friend pleassse!

Bruno saying (as he nudges him along) be my new friend pleassse!

Oh, Mickey, Mickey, you look so thrilled!

Oh, Mickey, Mickey, you look so thrilled!

The latest of the icy, cold weather has moved on. With bad weather issues, dominating our thoughts and actions, we haven’t had much time to just take stock of what we have going on.

Lauren and Feather, still a little banged and bruised from the fall last week, headed to Katy Wednesday for the start of our rated horse show.  Wednesday afternoon, the pair easily flew over a 4’3″ jump, arguably the highest they had ever jumped together. I missed the competition Thursday but they had two classes and one blue ribbon.  Way to start it out.

Yesterday, Kona and I went along to watch.  I fully and totally expected them to fly easily over jumps.  They pulled a rail at the second jump and Lauren struggled to get back on track.  It was a messy round.  Feather got in too deep at a big oxer and literally went right thru it.  And it got a little worse before she finished the class.  We scratched her next entry.  Today would offer new choices.

Very early this morning, I told Lauren I had been up all night with the flu.  A slight exaggeration, perhaps.  I had not gotten much sleep but definitely was not feeling the go to the horse show pull.  It was the go back to bed pull.  So I chose that and awakened about noon.

I let Bruno out with Mickey for a change.  Bruno liked his pal Mickey!  What fun to have the disgruntled guy play with you even with Mickey’s ears back and tail swishing.

Bruno headed to the back pasture and Kona went along to be sure he was safe.  Then I heard a roar from the pasture.  Kona and Bruno were headed straight the barn.  He is a fast horse!

Sometimes all a guy needs is a field of clover.

Sometimes all a guy needs is a field of clover.

Lauren did better at the show today.  Horse and rider in sync.  Wonder what effect I will being there tomorrow?. I hope I get to see a glorious ride.

The Freeze is on!

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As I look through my mesh wire fence, I see the intricate web of ice glistening off the wire.  Temperatures dropped below freezing last night not long after sundown.  We did our new routine, drain the pipes, and shut off the water well.  We were not taking any chances on broken pipes.

My frozen trees twinkling in the early morning darkness.

My frozen trees twinkling in the early morning darkness.

I did a rushed prep of the horses and barn last night.  I got out of work a little late, while everyone else in Houston was getting out of the office a little early. The rain was continuing and the temperatures dropping rapidly.  Normal commute- a little over an hour, last night’s almost two.  I got to my mom’s to find her shivering, asleep in bed.  I tried to wake her but she would open her eyes, then fall immediately asleep again.   As I tidied up her room, I heard her breathing with difficulty.  Then deep coughs from her chest, punctured the quiet of the room.

Sounded like a bad cold, which had already gone to her lungs.  Then helper Janet arrived.  She would get some soup, juice and crackers and let momma have dinner in her room.

I left her with Janet and headed home to my new responsibilities.  Yesterday at Dev’s, Feather had sent Lauren flying through the air when she stopped short on a tall, skinny jump.  Lauren hit the ground hard.  When  she called me it was like a never-ending list of ailments.  “Momma, I think I tore my knee (you tore your knee, again, I thought.)  ” my ribs are broken.  My pelvis and back hurt. My neck feels like it has whiplash!”  All of this she bawling over the phone.  I got her talked down some.  If any of those things were true she would not a just loaded a horse and be in the truck headed for home.  At least I hoped not!

By yesterday morning she could barely turn her neck.  Off to the doctor she went.  She was x-rayed from stem to stern.  Doc said the X-rays looked good but she had swelling and soft tissue damage in her neck.  Then he asked to see her helmet.  Lauren rides in a GPA  helmet.  A GPA is over $500 but has a neck guard and can be replaced for a fraction of the price if damaged.

Based upon the swollen, traumatized areas of neck, the doctor told her that without the neck guard piece on this helmet it would have been likely Lauren’s neck would have broken!  Slipped past a bad one there, eh?

Anyway, point is, I still had to pick up some dinner, get home, feed, water horses and dogs, blanket each horse and try to stay warm as 50 + mph north winds whirled through the barn. Lauren was going to need to sit out the chores if there was any hope  of her making the show next week.   I was pretty tired and ready to get inside.

We had a winter storm watch on everyone’s lips and I went about unhooking hoses, emptying and clearing the hoses and house water lines.  It was COLD!

Electricity went off during the night as the winds pounded the power lines. My early morning feed today was  one of the coldest ever endured here in the banana belt of Texas.

Lauren  was still peacefully enjoying her drug induced sleep.  I was cold.  Schools and many businesses were closed today as the ill prepared for winter conditions highway department launched a mostly futile effort at melting the ice.

After noon, we ventured out to see a movie.  There were on a handful of people there. We saw the movie, August, Osage County.  It was quite good but had a lot of adult behaviors and the ‘F’ word said more times than I have ever heard in an hour and 55 minutes.  About a mother with her three daughters.  We are all dysfunctional in our families but hopefully we never get this bad.  Lauren is asleep again, knocked out by muscle relaxers and pain pills.

I am about to go out and throw hay to the horses as it will be another long, cold winter night, then a quick shower, drain the pipes and off to bed.  And then I’ll do it all again tomorrow.

Oh, and momma’s much better today!  Thanks for joining me on this cold winter night!  Be safe!

Momma and Mr. Kid

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I was warned not to write this post.  I was warned that people might not appreciate my comparisons.  I guess sometimes you just step out there into the mud anyway.

Me and my momma.

Me and my momma.

My mother will be 90 this year.  She was one of 11 children born in Oklahoma.  Although she was born in the middle of the group, she is the only one still living.  My mother is healthy, has no physical ailments, has even gained about ten pounds since coming to Texas.  She walks regularly and except for some eye sight issues does extremely well.  She has this nagging disease called dementia that takes her further away from me mentally day by day.

I read each day about people dying, people younger than she.  And every time the phone rings in the middle of the night, my heart beats faster with fear that it is bad news about her.  Likewise, each time she gets a cold or seems under-the-weather, I get mentally prepared that this is it!

I know she cannot live forever.  I lost my sister in her 20’s to a car accident.  My father has been gone over 20 years.  It just seems like God has left my mother and I alone, like nothing bad is going to happen to us. My mother has gotten through cancer and some other rough times.  I have had some close encounters with death (highway near misses, visits to ICU) but I just feel I am protected and my mom and I will carry on forever.  I get that it is silly to think that way, but I have not really, seriously, thought I would ever lose my mom.

Mr. Kid 32 years young.

Mr. Kid 32 years young.

Okay, here it comes, the part where I step off into the mud.  I am NOT comparing my mother to my horse.  Well, sort of!  So, I got Kid when he was 20, already considered a senior citizen in the horse world although Kid had no idea.  Now, he is 32! Old, by anyone’s estimation.

Kid has no physical aliments.  He walks, trots and even runs occasionally.  His eye sight is not as good as it once was but he has managed to maintain his weight and perhaps even gain a few pounds in the last year.  I don’t know about any dementia that Kid has although he was once the herd leader and now must be ever vigilant not to get hurt or trapped by the other horses.

As I drive up each day I scan the barn to be sure I can find him still standing by the stalls.  Each morning, as I feed, I am relieved to see he has made it through another night.  He has had his brushes with death as well, like a few months ago when he cut his mouth so badly that I thought we would never stem the bleeding.

It is wrong, I guess, to make an analogy between my momma and my favorite horse.  But I see them both in similar ways.  They have successfully lived their lives.  They are in the golden years.  One of the hardest things to do, and yet one of the best things life offers, is the uncertainty of not knowing how their stories will end. Why is that a good thing, because if we knew what lay ahead for us, it would be so overwhelming.  We would fear the end, knowing how it would end and not enjoy the days we have.  I pray that my momma gently closes her eyes one night and dies peacefully in her sleep.  It is the best I can hope for her.

I don’t know how long I will need to provide for my mother and honestly with the costs of care, it could get a little difficult if she lives into her 100’s.  But I will always care for her.

Likewise, Kid can always count on having a stall to call his own as long as he can enjoy life.  Literally for over five years now, Lauren has thought  Kid would die, but he hasn’t and that is wonderful.

I compared my mom to my horse, but just in their stages of life.  Obviously, my love for her is different, deeper and more powerful.  While I love Kid, he is my horse and I get that.  What they share is being allowed to have these years that so many did not get.  How great it would have been for my sister to live into her 90’s?  How I miss her.

Knowing the end must be around the bend, is challenging and frightening.  But neither my momma or Mr. Kid have any idea that death is stalking them.  They awaken and enjoy each day.  I am grateful.

Thank you for riding along!

A visit from Amber’s family

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Weather looks miserable but actually warm breezes were blowing!

Weather looks miserable but actually warm breezes were blowing!

Amber, Ryan and kids, Riley and Lexi arrived on Thursday to rain and overcast skies, but as they had left a very cold Colorado and we had come up above freezing for the first time in days, we were all okay with the overcast skies.  It didn’t take long to throw a halter on Snowboy and head out of the barn to the only semi-dry spots.  Two year old Lexi, showed no hesitation about climbing on board and off she went trotting with Aunt Lauren across the water and around the trailer.  It wasn’t long before her four year-old brother, Riley switched spots with her.

While we got a short video of them trotting we warned them not to show Jordyn.  She would be mad they were on her horse and that they were TROTTING.  Sometimes, you just have to let other’s accomplishments serve as a way to motivate you, but more about that in a minute!

Friday the kids helped out around the barn, filling water troughs, raking hay and mucking stalls.  The rain had stopped, things were still wet but with 70 degrees showing on the thermometer, it was a pretty great day to be outside.  I enjoyed getting to know my grandkids a little better and had a lot of fun watching Kona have so many people to throw his ball.  Jordyn got out of school a little early so that she, Ally, Luke and baby Kendyll could join us for Texas barbecue. Luke got busy digging some ditches to let our water flow out to the ditch.  It started to recede immediately, it was like we were in the Peace Corps or something!

I got Ally to go with me, later in the day, as we took all the great-grandkids to my mom’s.  From the minute we got there, she was overjoyed to see the children.  It is unclear that she realized they were any kin to her but she loved them, nonetheless.  It was nearing dinner time for her and the kids helped her get on her make-up and do her hair.  Jordyn always loves this part of the visit and I think momma loves the attention.  Jordyn, in an overdrive teacher mode with her young cousins, explained how to put on blush, eye shadow and lipstick.  I think little Lexi made sure she had all the same make-up her Granny-Nanny did!

Jordyn and Riley getting their great grandma all fixed up for dinner.

Jordyn and Riley getting their great grandma all fixed up for dinner.

I think the sweetest thing was as we left momma’s room to head down to dinner, with no prompting, tiny Lexi walked up and took her great grandma’s hand in hers and walked down the hall with her.

From back left, clockwise-2 year old Lexi, Granny Nanny, me, 4 year old Riley, 1 year Kendyll and 6 year old Jordyn.

From back left, clockwise-2 year old Lexi, Granny Nanny, me, 4-year-old Riley, 1 year Kendyll and 6-year-old Jordyn.

There were lots of hugs and kisses from all the kids.  I wish they could visit her more often as it made her so happy!

Saturday, another warm day, was spent taking great professional photos with Ally’s friend Elvia.  Ryan got roped into going with Lauren and I to get 12 bales of alfalfa hay.  Amber couldn’t understand why it took us so long to go get hay across town, but there is a certain period devoted to visiting with the hay man that has to take place.  It is not as simple as backing in and loading the hay.  We appreciated Ryan’s help.

We got Snowboy out again, saddled up this time, and everyone had helmets on.  Jordyn was determined not to be out done by her cousins.  I took them toward the road, then I let Snowney’s bridle go and headed him to the barn.  IMAGINE this-he trotted in a straight line right back to the gate and Jordyn was TROTTING BY HERSELF! She demanded to do it over and over.  It was a pretty big milestone until Kona ran after Snow, nipped him in the ankle and Snow headed trotting off to the neighbors with Jordyn screaming.  But she tried it again and successfully trotted alone to end the day.

Here is her trotting video-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZeIsCYDe8Q

I hated seeing the kids (all of them) leave on Sunday.  I feel I miss so much with them being so far away.  Hopefully, this time Lexi will remember a little about grandma’s and Riley will build on his memories.

400 Blogs!!

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For the 400th time, I am writing on my Exechorseluver blog.  I started this blog almost two years ago and have enjoyed telling my stories about my family and the escapades at Six Meadow Farm.  I am so happy you all have chosen to ride along with  me!  It means so much to me when I get a comment from one of you after posting a story or have someone come up to me at a horse show and talk to me about the blog.  THANK YOU!!

Here are some stats for the year 2013-

Crunchy numbers

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people.  This blog was viewed about 19,000 times in 2013.  If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 7 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

In 2013, there were 206 new posts, growing the total 2013 archive of this blog to 397 (400 as of today) posts. There were 519 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 127 MB. That’s about a picture per day.

The busiest day of the year was July 22nd with 435 views. The most popular post that day was RESCUING-JOEY.  Which if I had to pick a favorite post, this certainly was a great one!

Here are some top photos of the year as well-you can click on the link beneath each picture to read that piece.  Enjoy the year in review and thank you again for being a part of Exechorseluver!!

Happy reunion?

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Jim seeing momma for the first time in a year. She was not quite sure who he was.

Jim seeing momma for the first time in a year. She was not quite sure who he was.

 

Jim explaining to mom that she was his wife and he loved her so much!

Jim explaining to mom that she was his wife and he loved her so much!

Well, she was clearly remembering something!

Well, she was clearly remembering something!

We got to the nursing home early this morning wanting to make up for lost time from last night’s missed rendezvous.   First thing Jordyn, Lauren and I noticed was that no one was working the desk and the usually bustling lobby was empty.  Uh, oh!

We were told by the aide that all but three residents had some horrible strain of stomach flu.  My mom was one of three that was well.  I hoped that maybe fifty or so years of special occasion stomach flu had built up my mom’s immune system and was helping her throw off the flu.

Jim and Jay arrived before we could think much about it.  Mom did not know Jim.  No question, but he slowly convinced her he was her husband and she seemed pretty happy to have him by her side.  Jim had brought a lot of great pictures.  We all enjoyed visiting.  We left mom just before lunch with a promise to pick her up later in the afternoon for the family dinner.

My stepfather, Jim, is quite a man.  He was the first person I ever met.  Literally!  He was my mom’s OB-GYN and he delivered my sister and I.  He and my mom were reunited years later after they both had lost their spouses.  One of the first times I met Jim again, was in Florida.  He went with me to Ally’s riding lesson.  He informed me he had served honorably in the US Cavalry!  Do you know anyone who rode in the Cavalry?  He jumped horses over things that would make Feather and Lauren faint at heart.  He is a real horseman.

We went back to the farm so Lauren and Jo could ride for their grandpa.  It was sunny and relatively warm, but that north wind was gusting across the prairie at about 25 miles an hour so it was not the best time for a 96 year old to hang out with the horses.

Jim making a new friend.

Jim making a new friend.

First, I found Jim making fast friends with my Irish mare.  He was slipping her apples and she loved him!  Then it was off to meet big Bruno for the first time.  “Now, that looks like a horse who could jump!  He is really amazing!”  Jim noted.

Bruno was playing to the camera and enjoying his old and young visitors.

Bruno was playing to the camera and enjoying his old and young visitors.

They watched the girls ride some and headed out for some soup and respite from the chilling wind.

 

We planned dinner early with Ally’s family and Blake joining us.  Ally and I headed to my moms to pick her up shortly before dinner.  I will spare you the details, but my momma was now in the count with the residents with the horrible flu.  We cleaned her up as well as we could (while trying to hold our breath) got her in bed and hurried out of the sick ward.  She was feverish, fluish, and barely able to allow us to get her back to bed.

We had the family dinner.  It was nice, but not they way it should have been.  Jim comes all the way from Arizona, gets to see mom for an hour, gets exposed to some violent flu strain and is to head home in the morning.  Man plans, God laughs.

I and all my family are having deep discussions with God tonight regarding stomach flu.  I know I am!

Thanks for riding along!  Really say a prayer for my momma tonight.  Thanks and God bless.

 

 

 

 

All dressed up

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Jordyn helping granny nanny get ready.

Jordyn helping granny nanny get ready.

Alldressed up in her new outfit

All dressed up in her new outfit

Jim and his son, Jay, landed right on a time.  Back in Wharton we headed off to get Jordyn.  After we returned to the assisted living, Jo helped her great grandma get all fixed up for her rendezvous with Jim.  We had hemmed and gotten a  brand new outfit.

We left momma at dinner and settled in to wait for Jim and Jay to arrive.

We had alerted pretty much the whole nursing home that mom’s  good-looking husband was arriving soon.

Then we got the call that they were having to endure the worst of Friday night commuter traffic.   There would be no visit from the boys tonight!

There is just no accounting for the crazy Houston traffic.  Tomorrow morning we will give the reunion another shot! I can’t wait.

Jim returns to momma-tomorrow

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Just like last year at this time, my mother’s 96-year-old husband will fly in from his home in Arizona to see her tomorrow.  They have not seen or talked to one another since then, although Jim has sent her many notes and pictures.  Last year this was a startling beautiful reunion that made me a believer once again in true love.

As Jim came through the doorway, my mom’s eyes lit up and they eagerly hugged, kissed and greeted one another. My mom loved Jim’s new beard.  Jim had tears in his eyes as he saw my mom.

But it has been a tough year for Jim with a fall and an injury to his head that has taken some time and hard work to overcome.  My mom, well, she is another year deeper in the evil grasp of dementia.   I feel lucky when she recognizes me.  It doesn’t happen every day any more.

We will see what the weekend brings.  I hope to get some great photos of former US Calvary member, Jim, with big Bruno.  And if we don’t get too much rain, Lauren and Jordyn hope to show their grandpa and great-grandpa, respectively a little of their riding skills.   Jordyn has been working with her baby sister Kendyll, to say “GGJim” as that is what she has always called her great-grandpa Jim.

Ally and Lauren made my mother’s old recipes for Manicotti and her famous Sherry Cake we all used to love.  We will have a fun family dinner on Saturday.

I am grateful that Jim’s son, Jay, is helping make this trip happen.  I can’t wait to see mom and Jim reunited again!

Thanks

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Momma hanging with Lauren

Been enjoying a couple days off work for the Thanksgiving holiday. Mostly, anyway. We had been at moms last weekend and I had thought it was a little cool in her room. A cold front was moving through and I kept upping the thermostat each time I came by. Tuesday, they called me to say the heater was out in my mom’s room and they were moving her to another vacant room. Jordyn and I helped move the bed, some chairs and some clothing to get her by, for a few days. It has all been confusing to her. I understand stuff happens, but her heat broke last year and she went without for several days.

Thanksgiving morning the nursing home called to say the housekeeper had found my mom on the floor. She was fine, no injuries, but I feel she was confused going between the new room and her old room. I am thankful she was okay.

I just hate anything that troubles my mother.

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Lauren and Jo having breakfast

Part of our chores was to get the truck inspected. There is only one spot in town that does state inspections. So we anticipated a little wait on the last day of the month. We picked up some breakfast and headed to the gas station. The truck passed inspection and we had a great time. Building memories, one glamorous moment after another!

Thanksgiving was spent at Ally’s. Luke and she did a great job on dinner. All of us, had many things to be grateful for and Jordyn led us as we went around the table saying what they were. Family was high on all of our lists. Although Jordyn had Snowboy first on her list. Priorities!

The horses have been in their stalls pretty much non-stop for the last several cold, rainy days. Feather has completed her last show this year, so down time is fine, except for the 57 times a day we get to clean the stalls. We are trying to get Bruno started on his show career. However, while he used to load like a champ, I think he associates the trailer with going to the vet, and it is causing reluctance on his part to load now. Our trainer friend, Sarah, is coming tomorrow to work with us and Bruno to come to an understanding about loading in the trailer. If we get over that hurdle, Bruno will be headed to a lesson Sunday. Wow, I bet that will be something to see! Bruno, in a new place after being in his stall for two weeks. I vote that Dev rides him first!

Hope your holiday was warm and happy! Thanks! For riding along and being a part of our journey.

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Snowboy getting out for a little break