My daughter, Amber, is a nurse practitioner living in the Denver suburbs.  The horrible Aurora massacre touched home for her not only because she is an area resident but because she has good friends and co-workers in the health care.  The morning of the shootings she learned from the news that a three-month old baby was fortunately treated and released.  Two other children died that morning.  As someone in health care it is all too easy to visualize the horrible, frantic activity surrounding Friday morning’s early hours. 

A couple of Amber’s friends made a last minute decision not to go see the movie at the Aurora theatre which they always frequented.  That decision may have saved their life.  Add to this the overwhelming local coverage of these events, Amber’s empathic nature and it is no wonder that this brutal surprise sent Amber’s emotions reeling today.

Amber had signed up for one of many continuing education classes required for her license; today’s was on patient charting.  Amber headed to Aurora for the class, no doubt with thoughts of the shootings rolling through her mind.  She texted me from class location.  Spellbound, horrified and shaking like a leaf, she texted, “the clinic I am at sits right across the street from the movie theatres.  It is so eerie.  Lots of people here, news crews and cameras, balloons, flowers, stuffed animals and rest in peace signs.”  It was so overwhelming.  I think it shook her to her core.  My caregiver daughter with the gentle soul was faced directly with one of the most horrendous crime scenes in modern history. 

Let us not forget the children, the families, the wives, husbands and friends that were lost this last Friday night.  We cannot (and perhaps would not) drive to the scene and be touched-seared to our core as Amber was today, but let’s continue to remember and pray for the all who were impacted by this tragedy.

My dad on his custom Justin saddle (in red vest) on his quarter horse, Waverly

When I was a girl, there was no question about what saddle I would ride in-it would be the saddle my father rode in, the saddle made for him.  As he was well over six-feet tall and I was maybe five foot four at best, the one concession made was to add extra holes to his stirrup leathers.  I still have my father’s saddle.  It was made by H. J. Justin of the Justin Boot Company who was an acquaintance of my fathers in 1955.  It has a silver plate on the back of the cantle proudly displaying that fact.  I have spent a lot of time over the years, saddle soaping that saddle. I have ridden horses in four states in that saddle, broken bones falling from that saddle but loved all the times I have spent on the back of a horse riding in my dad’s saddle.   

My dad in the saddle that is mine now and yes, those are all riders stretched out behind him.

It was a rite of passage in our family to be strong enough to lift the saddle, by yourself, up onto the horse’s back.  It is a solidly built western saddle and weighs over 50 pounds.  When I got my first horse at age 11, I had to use a step stool and really get some momentum going to get the saddle up onto the horse.  I was a competitive swimmer and had pretty good upper body strength but don’t think I got that saddle on from the ground up on the horse until I was at least 14 years old.

I remember when we moved to Sugar Land, Texas and Ally was about 12 and Lauren was seven.  Ally’s best friend Amy, stayed with us for a while and they all practiced lifting the big saddle.  Amy got it on the horse first, then Ally and years later Lauren finally was able to throw the big saddle up on Kid’s back.  Maybe that is part of why Lauren moved from western riding to English.  From the beginning, Lauren could saddle her own horse, English, and get to the work of riding.

Since those days there have been lots of saddles, including lots of Christmas saddles.  Lauren got her first English saddle the Christmas of fourth grade.  She had just gotten Mickey that fall.  She was so proud of that saddle.  Looking back, it wasn’t that nice of a saddle, it was a Kincade brand, but it fit her and Mick and it was hers alone.  I think Lauren has morphed through seven English saddles.  Only three have been new, including that first Kincade.  A couple she saved her money for, religiously hiding it from me and herself (in case she might spend it on something else), waiting for the right saddle to come along.  The best saddle Lauren had over the years was given to her by one of her best friends.  It was probably the nicest gift she has ever gotten.

The saddle thing is more complicated than just what is pretty and the most popular brand, it has to be a certain type based upon discipline, for instance hunters may use a different saddle than jumpers, and the saddle has to fit the horse and fit the rider.  As Lauren’s abilities changed, the horses she was riding changed as well.  What fit the quarter horse type Mickey, pinched the broad backed Irish Sport Horse but was too wide for the high withered Leo, the thoroughbred. 

When our vet came to do the work on Leo, one of the first things that was apparent was his saddle was constricting his ability to move his shoulders.  I know, this stuff is complicated!  We have been looking for a saddle that is adjustable to the horse so Lauren can use the same saddle at least with Mick and Leo. 

Spending a rainy Saturday, working our way home from Ally’s we visited a few rural feed stores.  Often, people bring saddles in for consignment.  In Texas, that usually means a western saddle.  But tucked away in the corner of the little town tack shop was what we quickly identified as the French saddle, a Marcel Toulouse.  It was Lauren’s size and it had an adjustable tree (so that it would fit all her horses with a simple turn of a screw)  other saddles required you to turn the saddle upside down and remove and change the gullet that dictates the size of the saddle.  The saddle appeared almost new.  It had Sprenger stirrups that retail for over $200, just for the stirrups.  The total price of this saddle was not much more.  We asked the owner about the saddle and he told us some rancher’s daughter thought they would show their quarter horses English and then had gone off to college. BINGO! 

What a thrill.  I can only hope that one day Jordyn, Lexi or one of Lauren’s children has the opportunity to ride in this fine saddle.  I hope that this is the “good one” that she will keep a long time.  I mean Marcel Toulouse is not Johnny Justin, at least in rural Texas, but to us, it was a pretty magnificent find.

It seems like months since a week ago when Feather finally loaded into Sarah’s trailer and rode off to her barn.  We have had horrible weather weighing in with over eight inches of rain in one week (you might get that as a snowfall-but as rain, it is insane).  It has been hard week just keeping up with the wet stalls, standing water and mud to our knees. 

One of the barns in North Houston, previous home to our trainer Dev, our friend Amy and others was totally engulfed in water. 

Horse awaiting rescue from horrible Houston rains.

Thankfully we were not as challenged here but things were definitely bad.  If we are lucky we will use our arena in a week IF it stops raining today.  It has already poured another couple of inches earlier today.Our horses, except retired Mr. Kid, are working athletes.  And as such, need continual physical fitness.  No one has been ridden since last Saturday or even moved from their stall except for a short time last night.  We are lucky to be in the summer lull of the season, although it is a busy time in other areas of the country.  No one gets too excited about horse shows in 100 degree Texas weather.  We would welcome some 100 degree days and that usually constant southern wind about right now. 

I am going to wade out to the barn and get the horses their dinner.  Maybe they can get out for a while again tonight.  And if it can stay dry overnight, maybe tomorrow we can start taking some rides around the horse trailer that is still surrounded by water. 

Lauren said she was okay with no more rain until next year.  I am inclined to agree with her.

The endless rain is taking its toll

on my little farm

no way to ride

no way to train

really no way to even walk to the barn

without boots to my knees

Stalls are soaked

horses are bored

we need shavings, feed and hay

but getting supplies to the barn

except by wheelbarrow is impossible

last year we fought the drought

this year we are swimming in mud

little puppy girl, Gia, is not tall enough

to cross the pasture of water

I know it will pass

it always does

but the days of mud and water are

hard, long ones for us

it would be okay to stop soon, God

and this time no snakes when you are done

Riley with sister Lexi

I am a grandmother again, four times now.  I have baby Kendyll and Jordyn from Ally and Luke.  I have Riley and Lexi from Amber and Ryan.  That’s a lot of blessings.  I don’t know when I will have them all together but hopefully this fall or on a family vacation next summer.

Lauren being the youngest of my girls, and the one without children, has become a better person from her time with her nieces and nephews.  While there certainly has been a reinforcement that baby planning is a necessity, it has also shown Lauren that she is good with kids and they are attracted to her.  Jordyn would rather be with Lauren than me, most of the time.  However, there comes a time in every visit when everyone gets tired and the prize for acting most like a two-year old is a tie between Jordyn and Lauren (okay, maybe Granny is a contender also). 

Riley, back in Denver is ever-increasing his vocabulary.  He told his dad the other night, “you not charge me, Mommy charge me”.  That was not met with a happy note from dad.  Amber had received new books in the mail from Riley’s other grandmother.  Amber told Riley that he had a surprise at home.  “Is it baby Kendyll?”  No, Amber told him.  “Are you getting me a baby brother?”  Definitely, no!  Sorry Riley just some books.

Amber and Ryan took both kids to the local water park.  It was really the first outing that Lexi at almost a year of age, could participate in and enjoy.  Amber said she absolutely squealed with delight as they rode the lazy river in an inner tube.  Very little is a good for the soul as a child’s boundless laughter.

After three days on Granny’s farm and before we returned Jordyn to her mother, we sent her in for a serious scrub down in the shower.  After getting her hair clean and conditioned we left her to play in the water with her toy horses.  She yelled out at us to ask if she could have some plastic cups to play with.  Lauren tossed a couple of Tupperware bowls over the top of the shower and Jo broke out in wild giggles.  You never know what will make them laugh. Lauren commented, if I ever need to make Jordyn happy I will throw a plastic bowl at her.

For me, the grandkids are a new opportunity to do some right in the world.  To try to teach them to be fair, to be happy, to not take life too seriously, to love animals, enjoy the outdoors and play hard.  With baby Kendyll, I get the chance again.  I know everyone talks about this whole grandchildren thing, but honest to God, I never dreamed I would love them as I do.

Jordyn and Kendyll-both asleep

Anticipating Sarah coming for the last several days has been difficult.  I have had plenty to do and think about without obsessing over if Feather and Sarah would successfully come to an agreement about loading in the trailer.

Obviously, there is Ally and new baby Kendyll to think about.  This morning when Ally was alone for a few minutes, Kendyll decided to choke on her breast milk and turned a bad color of purple.  Ally leaped out of bed (c-section be damned) and tried to get the baby breathing right again.  In what felt like a lifetime to Ally, but was actually just a few moments, the nurses came, the baby took in a deep breath and all was well but it was very frightening.  We saw them this afternoon and all is fine and baby is doing great but Ally has something new to watch and worry about with her new baby.

Yesterday was hay day again.  While I did a lot of the driving, Lauren had a hand in loading over 170 bales of hay.  Just as one set of friends left, another came.  It was a blazing hot Texas day.  The first 80 was just us women, loading hay and working hard.  I was driving one friend’s SUV with the trailer attached.  Four-year olds, Jordyn and Abby were in the in back with the lady’s seven year old.  She asked Abby and Jo if they lived in Fulshear (a nearby town).  Abby answered for both them, “no we live on Earth”.  Can’t argue with that, can you?

This is day three with Jordyn and we love her dearly but neither of us are used to non-stop four year-old fun.  She has ridden all the horses but Leo.  She has played and played.

Work has its own challenges right now with budgets due.  So, lots going on in addition to worrying about Feather.  But I did worry.

Sarah got here in the heat of day.  It was noon and over 100 degrees.   Sarah visited with her old horse, Mr. Kid.  She scoped out the best plan for loading Feather.  She backed the trailer into the paddock and it was on.  No gloves, no chains, no lunge ropes, nothing we had tried just a rope halter and lead rope.

It was a little gratifying (for the first ten minutes) that Feather didn’t just immediately load up.  It showed that Lauren and I were not just idiots that couldn’t handle a horse.  When she still hadn’t loaded and stayed in the trailer an hour and a half later, no one cared about gratifying.  Sarah just took her up, one hoof at time, rewarding the positive and tapping her with her whip when she backed off the trailer. There were a couple of crazy moments, like when Sarah had gotten her in the trailer but Feather had spun around toward her and was coming at her like an all-state defensive end.  There was some quick scrambling on Sarah’s part.

But in the end, Sarah stood by the end of the trailer.  Feather, with the lead rope loose around her neck, walked herself forward, into the trailer  on her own.  She stood quietly as Lauren and Sarah got the slant closed.  My heart was pumping hard as Sarah finally put the truck in gear and drove away. Feather will stay for a week and have these lessons reinforced.  I am so happy that the future is still bright for this promising mare.  And happy that patience and repetition earned its own reward.  Mickey, however, has not stopped neighing for his girl, Feather.  It will be a long week for him.

Thanks for riding along on this incredible journey of my life.  Keep us in your prayers, especially baby Kendyll and Ally.

Victory!

Baby Kendyll Paige

Kendyll Paige Taylor, at eight pounds, two ounces joined our family this afternoon.  Delivered via C-Section, she came safely and lovingly into the world.  She looks a lot like her pretty sister Jordyn Grace although she seems to have more hair and it is darker.  Ally looks great and Kendyll is already nursing well and settling in to life on the outside.

Her other grandma, Dodie, and I stood with are arms linked, tears rushing from our eyes as we gazed at Kendyll and Ally peacefully lying together an hour or so after birth.  We were both overwhelmed with the bountiful blessings that God had bestowed on us.  Thank you dear Lord for what you have given us.  May we be good ambassadors of your love and spirit to this little child.

My friend, the talented Sarah Petty, is coming to get Feather on Saturday (unless Ally is in labor and we will re-schedule). While the original plan had been to get Feather to Dev’s for advanced under saddle work, with the trailering and behavior issues, Sarah has graciously offered to do some interim lessons so that we can then move on to the Dev plan later.  You have to load in a trailer and accept basic things in the barn before you can move on to doing great things in the show ring.

Sarah grew up (literally) working horses.  I cannot begin to guess how many horses she has ridden in her life although she is only in her mid-20’s.  Sarah was the one that convinced Mickey that walking forward was a good plan after he showed up in her family rescue so many years ago.  She has a commanding spirit and a gentle soul and if anyone can convince Feather that loading in a trailer is a good idea it will be Sarah.  I just hope we get Feather to go along with the plan.  If we can get her into Sarah’s trailer than Sarah can slowly and consistently work with her to re-load and adjust to the trailer as needed.

Prince with Melissa on board.

I hope so much that this is a success.  Feather’s relatives are synonymous with success in the eventing world.  Pictured is her cousin Prince that Melissa McMaster took from a youngster to being one of the top eventing horses in the country.  We hope Feather grows up to be just like Prince but she’s gotta go in the trailer first.  I will send an update on Saturday with the progress.  This mare has a date with destiny and I believe we must gently urge her forward so she can find her own place in the show world.  I suspect that when Feather meets Sarah, she will think she has returned to Melissa.  I think she will respect Sarah and her time with her will be invaluable to her future.  Thank you, Sarah-I pray this works.

Not a pretty sight over your barn.

I am one of those early to bed, early to rise kind of people.  Saturday night I was also sick.  I was awakened from sleep with the unmistakable sound of fireworks exploding over my head.  I raced to get dressed and headed to the barn.  My neighbors were in their lawn chairs with the grandkids on their driveway not 50 yards from my barn full of horses starting their full-on Fourth of July fireworks extravaganza.  I knew they would do this but expected it on the Fourth, not on this Saturday night.

We have been letting the horses out at night to beat the heat, but with rain percentages above 60%, thankfully, they were all in their stalls except Kid. I let Kid wander in and out during the night as he is old and gets stiff if stalled up.  While trying to quiet the other horses, I went to Kid’s stall but it was empty.  There was no sign of him in the dark pasture beyond the barn.

The fireworks just kept coming.  Obviously, no expense had been spared as dramatic, multiple explosions just kept raining down on my barn.  With the slight wind, they were being pushed further towards the barn than normal, but any way was too close.

In the past years, I have anticipated this.  I have gotten the horses in their stalls.  I have run fans (although if you think a fan is going to distract a horse from a giant overhead explosion, you are wrong).  I have just tried to stand by and talk to them.  At least I can be there if someone gets hurt and just try to soothe them the best I can.

This time with no warning, I was frantically searching for Kid when he can roaring up from the pasture, white-eyed and sweat drenched.  I tried to catch him but could not.  I was trying to calm him but each new blast sent him further from my reach.  Feather and Leo, young and high-strung, respectively, were crashing around in their stalls.  I was frightened they would be hurt and I could do nothing about it.

I understand that my neighbors can send off fireworks.  It is one of the things about America.  They do not have horses or any other animals.  They do not care.  They own at least 30 acres of land but are more comfortable in their driveway situated next to my barn.  My helplessness at this realty was the worst.

I caught Kid on his next lap through the pasture and got him to his stall.  Feather was in a heavy sweat and could not be calmed.  To a horse, not much is worse than fire (think Black Beauty) and booming noises from above (think instinctive response to run from something preying from above).

I saw the family leave yesterday and hope the fireworks are done for this year.  I will try to go talk with them and explain I would at least like to know when they are going to send off fireworks so that the horses can be in their stalls.  If not for the weather, all the horses would have been out and I seriously doubt we would have gotten through the multiple stampedes caused by the fireworks unhurt.

I would tell you the following if you have horses and expect fireworks:

Put them in their stalls.  They are way less likely to get hurt in a confined space.

Stay with them so if they do get hurt you are prepared to give medical attention or take them for medical attention.

Turn on fans, radios or other “white noise” but if the fireworks are on top of the horses, like mine, it will not matter.  This might help soothe distant fireworks.

Have your trailer hooked up and ready to go.  One year in Houston, a horse panicked in his stall and tore his chest open a full 10 inches.  Only quick, emergency care saved him. My trailer was sitting in the mud in the arena and I could not have gotten it out to save anyone’s life.

Use ear plugs.  Sounds crazy but in Florida we used jumbo tampons, inserting them in the horse’s ear, being sure to let the string hang out.  If it helps, who cares what it is.

Maybe go light on the feed Fourth of July night.  Less in the belly, is less to colic.

Be prepared.  Last year’s drought, kept my neighbors from their yearly celebration. I was caught off guard this year.  Be careful-be safe.

Short post-Feather didn’t load.  Caroline came down.  We had several great plans, put a chain through Feather’s mouth (she didn’t like it but it didn’t make her load), try running the lunge line through the trailer out the emergency door (we got close a couple of times, she acted like she wanted to do it but would set back and take all of us with her), going quietly and urging her a step at a time (it was less stressful but no more successful). 

After Feather had set back a few times at a high speed and in unknown directions, Caroline started to get worried about her daughter, Arianna, being caught up in her hooves.  I got tagged one time with the rope across my shoulders.  We also tried using a twitch (did nothing) and blindfolding her (she sure as hell wasn’t walking forward if she couldn’t see).

We were giving it one last try and we thought we had her.  Caroline was at the emergency door in front, holding the lunge line.  Arianna was behind the trailer door poised to get it shut as soon as Feather walked in.  Lauren was leading her and I was behind her urging her forward.  Lauren moved to the side, I urged her forward, Caroline gave a little tug on the line and she should have loaded.

What happened instead will stay with me always.  I wish I could draw because I have the scene embedded in my mind. Lauren stepped out of the way, moving toward the side of trailer where Caroline was. I was behind Feather as she started to move backwards fast.  The idea was for Caroline to let go of the line so Feather go can backwards safely.  Quickly it was apparent the line was taut and Feather panicked.  I yelled at Caroline to let loose.  She already had but the line was stuck in the trailer door.  Feather moved around the same side of trailer as Lauren was on.  Lauren had slipped to the ground racing to get out from under the dangerous flying hooves.  As Arianna and I struggled to loosen the line, the chain cut hard into Feather’s tender skin and she reared into the air.

In one of those slow motion scenes, where adrenaline and super human strength take over, I watched as Caroline grabbed Lauren and pulled her to safety as Feather struck the earth and then reared again to the sky.  Caroline later said it was one of the most frightening times of her life.  Lauren came inches from being stomped to death, or at least seriously hurt.  As it was two ribs are deeply bruised and a five-inch cut runs down lower leg.

They say you should never let the horse win.  Today no one won.  Feather trembled as she approached the trailer.  We are afraid of being hurt.  Somehow, some way, I am going to get that horse into the trailer.  As dumb as it may sound, I am going to love that mare into the trailer. 

One day she’ll be a champ (and ride in the trailer)I just know it!

P.S.  A week ago, doing the simple act of reaching to halter Leo, I felt my shoulder snap.  I think there is little doubt that for the fourth time in as many years, I will need shoulder surgery.  Boy, is Dr. Nolan going to be mad at me!  And thanks to all that prayed for our safety, the first thing I did after I finished ranting and raving was Thank God for being with us all.