Rain, Rain go away

Posted on January 15, 2013 by Exechorseluver

Our last nice day was December 22nd. We spent that day riding with friends and enjoying the great south Texas weather. The holidays and rain followed. Then last week more and more rain fell. We have had rain each day since the deluge last Tuesday. I still have standing water in my yard and arena. Thankfully, Bruno has not needed to be out of his stall. He is scheduled to go back to Texas A&M on January 28th. Right now, I could not get him in the trailer to go there.

All horse training has stopped. Hopefully, when the sun shines once again we can take up where we left off. Probably, we will take some steps backward before moving on.

In the meantime, it is cold and wet. Last night, with the furnace going full blast we could not push past 63 degrees in the house. My little house is not built to withstand the cold.

And no more talk about the Texans (at least not until next year). They just were not good enough to continue on.

When I visited my mom yesterday she tearfully sat me down. She told me she had come to a difficult decision. After a lot of contemplation, she decided it was time to move to Texas with me. I wish I knew if I should just go along with her and say, yes momma, that is a good idea or if I should tell her she is already there. I look at her and see so much of myself in her. I wonder if I will find myself confused, lonely and seemingly abandoned in a nursing home in my future. I guarantee she never thought she would end up there.

I know brighter days are ahead. There is a sun icon on our weather channel report for the next ten days. Maybe some new warmth headed our way.

In the meantime, we should all take a nap like Puppy Girl.

oh, Puppy Girl!

Holiday Cheer

Posted on December 27, 2012 by Exechorseluver

On Christmas Eve, Lauren and I took Nanny to Jo Etta and Blake’s for a soup dinner before Christmas Eve service at their church. Jo Etta had set such a beautiful festive table. So many of the nursing home residents were just hanging out listening to Christmas Carols. Mom was excited to be going out. However, after the dinner and church service, it was way too much for her and we left at the offertory. It may be the last time we do the whole Christmas Eve thing.

After many travel delays, Amber and her family made it to Texas late Christmas evening.

Mom is drinking her Boost while the family gathers around.

Lauren, Jordyn and I had dinner already made at Ally’s house. It was exciting for all of us (okay, maybe just Jordyn and I) when they finally arrived. It was great to have us all together.

On the 26th, we all met up at my house for Christmas dinner and presents. So many wonderful gifts were exchanged and way too much food was eaten. I got an IPAD so I can take the Blog on the road and never have to miss a day. Of course, it is taking the entire family to get me set up to use it. I am moving into the future.

Hope everyone had a great holiday!

Weekend Scoreboard

Posted on December 16, 2012 by Exechorseluver

Short post tonight-busy time of year for all, I am sure!

First, El Campo Ricebirds went down fighting-Stephenville was a tougher, bigger team and they dominated the scoreboard. Still what a thrill it was to be at Cowboy Stadium-reportedly some 7500 strong (that’s a major percentage of the town!). The boys of fall got all the way to the state championship and hopefully will continue to build a strong program in the future. I am so glad that I encouraged Lauren to go with Jo Etta and Blake. There are things you look back on in life and remember fondly and this will be one of those for Lauren.

Jordyn came down yesterday and helped me out around the barn with the chores. I swear she could probably walk Ally through our routine of the cleaning, watering, feeding (including which horse eats what, how much and with what supplements) if we ever needed to call on them in an emergency.

We got rain Saturday but we let Bruno just go out, get wet and get muddy. Being a race horse most of his life he has not gotten to be “just a horse”. We take him to Texas A&M for surgery Tuesday so he will not be getting out and muddy again for a long time. He absolutely raced the wind from the far back of the arena to the barn, over and over, joyously running for the pure pleasure of the romp. Little Mimi was a hundred yards behind him and would turn when he was half way back from the run down to the barn and catch him for a few yards before he lost her again in a blaze of speed. Oh, I wish I would have seen him run on the track!

Today, Lauren was supposed to take Feather to Dev’s for a lesson and Jordyn would get to ride her beloved Snowney Pony. But a torrential downpour nixxed that plan, right after Lauren got Feather successfully loaded in the trailer (so that was good!).

Our gift to Dev-thanks Amy!!

We had Amy McCaffery make Dev a rosewood mounting block to take to the horse shows. It turned out beautifully and we were thrilled to give it to him at his Christmas party today. It is kind of a selfish gift as Lauren needs it at the shows and will be glad to have there in the future. It is always nice to have a step up when mounting your horse, but if we ever get big Bruno going, it will be a necessity.

I will spare you the Jordyn went to the nursing home with me story, except to say, Lauren, Jordyn, mom and I walked the halls last night to look at the decorated doorways of the residents. By the time we made it around, several of the residents were in tow. Jordyn was holding the hand of Miss Lou who had yelled for us to slow down and Lauren was hearing the tale of Christmas past from Miss Bernice. The best part (okay, I am telling you the story) was having Miss Bernice show Jo how to Texas Two Step.

I am thankful for the nice weekend.

Another Saturday Night

Posted on December 8, 2012 by Exechorseluver

Been catching up with sleep and rest since the boys left on Wednesday. I have been trying to get rid of pneumonia since before Thanksgiving. I am better but still tired, guess it will take awhile.

Mom has been overly confused since Jim and Jay left. She thinks they will be back to take her out to dinner any minute and has been dressed and waiting in the lobby. She keeps asking me why Jim isn’t spending more time with her. I don’t have a good answer. Tonight she told me that Jim had gotten a truck and was coming to get her. I hope she forgets about all this soon.

Ally and Lauren have been busy with finals coming up next week. It will be great when this semester is over for Ally. It was a lot to take so many hours so soon after having Kendyll. But she has gotten through it. They both have. I am proud of them.

Tonight I have my office Holiday party. I was part of the organizing committee so know it will be nice. It’s another Saturday and I am happy to have somewhere to get dressed up and go.

Tomorrow Lauren and I will take some photos with the horses. That should be fun!

Reunited

Posted on December 4, 2012 by Exechorseluver

Reunited-seeing each other for the first time in three months.

The kiss!!

And it feels so good!

Today mom’s 95 year-old husband, Jim, came from Tucson with his son Jay. I wasn’t sure how it would go. When we left Denver she was very mad at him as she felt he had abandoned her by moving out of the assisted living and leaving her on her own. Actually, because of the amount of care she needed, she was better off here with me and he was fine to live with his family. Honestly, who knows really what she thought but she had built it up to be a pretty big deal. She refused to even say goodbye to him when we left. That however, did not stop her from speaking of him frequently and wondering where he was.

Now, three months later (has it really only been three months since she came here?) everything has changed in her mind. I didn’t think she would know either Jim or Jay but we talked about them coming. When I spotted them pulling into the parking lot, I asked her if she wanted to go out to meet them. When we got to the lobby she and Jim would have run to each other if they could. Jim was absolutely overwhelmed with seeing mom again. He told her he loved her so much and had tears in his eyes as we walked to her room.

It was not clear if she realizes that Jim is her husband or what the relationship is, but she was ecstatic to have the attention of these two nice men. Then as all the excited talk went on between them mom pulled out of her memory somewhere that Jim had been her doctor. (For those of you that missed that part of the story, my dad died in 1991. Jim’s wife had passed away as well. They reunited then while walking in a Denver park. Jim was the OB/GYN that had delivered me as a baby. They have been married for 15 years.)

It was really one of the greater things that I have witnessed in my life to see the love Jim had for my mother. She was a little confused and a little unsure but Jim had enough love for both of them. It was not unlike the south Texas version of “The Notebook”.

When we had talked about their visit before they came she was worried about her usual litany of things, her hair (she was convinced that her old Denver hairdresser Betty Burke would come fix it for her), what she was going to wear (did she have the right clothes?) and where they would meet. I assured her that I would be there to help her get ready and she was okay with that.

The next couple of days, Jim and Jay will visit with mom, do some sight-seeing (that shouldn’t take too long in Wharton) and tomorrow we will have a family and friend dinner so that Jim can see Ally, her new baby and Jordyn. Blake and his mom, Jo Etta, will come along as they are just like family. We will all go to the Mexican restaurant that mom and I visited before. I know mom will enjoy the attention and diversion from the usual nursing home activities. I just hope when Jim leaves she doesn’t miss him as much as she did before.

Momma Lost

Posted on November 28, 2012 by Exechorseluver

Mom, a few years ago, confident, calm and happy in Tucson.

I know I have thought these thoughts before

I find my mom so lost, so alone, so frightened

I don’t know how to help when she only remembers what I say for a few moments at a time

I can’t give her any reassurances that last past the moment

With tears in her eyes she begs me to let her come home

I must say no, momma you can’t come home

And she doesn’t understand, she is just alone

Jim will come next week and I do not think she will know him

It should be a joyful reunion but I am afraid she will be scared and uncertain

I am so afraid that I am losing her a little each day

I pray that she will be content and not so insecure

I pray I find a way to reach her once more

I HATE this disease that has taken her from me

One that takes all of her that was good and leaves this little shell

Don’t tell me that I am doing all I can because there must be more

something I can do to return her to how she was before

Something to just give her peace.

Oh, please God, just give her peace

Happy Thanksgiving

Posted on November 23, 2012 by Exechorseluver

Our Thanksgiving crew, starting with me clockwise, Dodie, Rick (Luke’s parents, Jake-Luke’s brother with girl friend Christie then Lauren, Jake’s daughter Kayla, Jordyn, Granny Nanny, Ally, Kendyll, and Luke

I don’t know how many years it has been since I shared Thanksgiving with my mother, like maybe sometime in the ’90s back when my Aunt Nova did Thanksgivings. Recent years, we have been here, and mom has been with Jim’s big extended family in Tucson. I have been fighting strep throat and an upper respiratory infection so I have not had much time with mom the last few days.

Lauren, Jordyn and I got our share of the food done yesterday. Lauren is a good cook. She makes homemade macaroni and cheese. We used my mom’s old recipes for green bean casserole and pumpkin pies. Ally and her extended family provided all else.

Ally’s in-laws, their son Jake and his girl friend Christie have become our family in Texas. It was with great joy today to add my momma as the matriarch of the family while adding four-month old Kendyll as the baby of the family. Life extending at both ends. The food was great. All of us have had some issues this year, some serious health things, a big move for mom, a new baby for Luke and Ally. I think that all of us had tears in our eyes as we circled the table saying what we were thankful for this year. The list was simple but endearing. We are so blessed to have momma here now and have her with this us. Dodie (Luke’s mom) has had an incredibly tough year with multiple health issues. But she still compassionately listened to mom tell her stories of growing up in Oklahoma.

It was a terrific day. We got mom back for her after Thanksgiving nap. Both Lauren were exhausted from the day and being sick. We came home and watched the Texans go into overtime again! I couldn’t yell-have no voice but again was thankful for the big finish and another one for win column.

We finally had to go do something with the horses. We have not felt well enough to ride once this week. We had planned to ride today but just were not up to it. Maybe in December, we will get things on track again. We had a rush trip to the vet yesterday to continue care on Bruno where Feather had kicked him Sunday. The vet took one look at him and said in awe, “now, that is a big horse!”. We got him fixed up and got some more antibiotics and medicine. He will be fine.

Just before horse dinner time, we thought we would try Bruno on the lunge line to see how he was doing with his foot. He looked really good. We caught a picture of him at the trot that shows how huge his stride is. This horse is really going to be able to cover some ground.

Bruno looking good with Mickey and Feather watching from the gate.

I am grateful for many things, from our terrific weather, healthy family (pretty much), my momma being back in my life on a daily basis, my terrific family (here and in Denver) and my Taylor family that are now just regulars for all our holidays and having my wonderful animals safe and sound (mostly) out in my back yard. These are all dreams come true for me. It is overwhelming how good life can be and how our traditions have grown and expanded to be even better than ever before.

Hope your Thanksgiving day was blessed as mine. I am thankful for all you who take time to read what I write each time. You all are blessing as well. You have given me a voice. Thank you and God Bless each one you.

Thanksgiving at the Nursing Home

Posted on November 20, 2012 by Exechorseluver

Jordyn, Ally, Lauren, me and Mom

Yesterday it was time for the Thanksgiving dinner at mom’s nursing home. Invitations had gone out almost a month ago and I had RSVPed for Lauren, Ally, Jordyn, Kendyll and myself. I had been telling mom about it for the last week. However, last week she was convinced she was still in her condo in Denver and couldn’t understand how she was going to have room for all of us to come to dinner. Then she worried about getting all the food made. I would remind her each day that the dinner was coming up. Each night as we went to dinner I would tell her and show her that this dining room would be where the Family Thanksgiving dinner would be. Each day we would discuss it again.

Yesterday dawned clear and with the perfect weather that reminds you why you actually live in Texas. Ally wanted to come down early and get some more of her riding for physical fitness done. She rode Mickey, English this time, and did a great job. It has been a long time since she rode the flat saddle but she was remembering and doing well. She and Mickey even took a couple of small jumps. (My secret goal is to get her back in the show ring so we will see how I do with that!) Lauren was on Feather putting in a good ride. Jordyn had done a couple of times around on Mickey but then I had bribed her to go pick rocks out of the new stall that Bruno would be moving into this week. I told her I would give her a penny a rock. Quickly, she told me she had 300 rocks. I pointed out she could not count to 300. She said ok, to just give her $5. What a negotiator!

We got in from the riding and got ready for the dinner. We got there early and found mom presiding over her own table in the nicely decorated dining hall. Lots of families were coming in and it was great to see my favorite residents teamed up with their families. It was sad that some of the residents had no family to come be with them. I know that I am a new convert to the nursing home world. I have not been at my mom’s side all those days in Denver when she was alone. I guess I felt Jim was there but I know now it was not near enough. One of the ladies who has always been so kind to Jordyn didn’t have anyone sitting at her table. We asked her to join us. She asked if we were sure it was not too crowded. She had tears in her eyes as she joined us. Ally looked at me and told me I was a better person for this experience with Nanny. I told her there had been a lot of room for improvement.

The student council from Boling High School was there to serve the food and took care of things courteously and promptly. I thought the food was pretty good. Lauren thought they had emptied a truckload of Hungry Man turkey dinners and scooped them out on plates. But Mom was just so happy. She kept looking around the table amazed to see us all there eating with her. She said, “This is what you kept trying to tell me about, but I just couldn’t picture it.” I reminded her that all of us will go to Ally’s on Thursday. I think it will be a big day for her.

We got back to my house in time to watch most of the Texan’s game especially because I swear it was the longest football game ever. I could just hear my daddy saying, “If you want to be a Super Bowl Team, you gotta come ready to play every team, every time!” What an emotional game with all the ups and downs. By the final minutes, Ally and I were screaming and yelling with no regard to her sleeping baby or anything else. Nice win, Texans-don’t ever put us through that again!

The SATs and my mom

Posted on November 15, 2012 by Exechorseluver

Momma today.

I remember wondering about this when I took the SATs (and yes, they had them way back when I was a student). I also remember thinking about it when Amber was doing her SAT reviews. You know, there are so many things we question the value of when we are learning. Like those silly story problems in math, I found out those things do come up in real life, Well, maybe not about two trains passing or whatever it was, but other things.

One of the things I remember well was the whole reading comprehension exercise. I routinely scored well in this area. I am sure there are several of you taking the SATs or ACTs and wondering what is the point of the little stories and the questions to follow. Do you remember this? Often you were given a quick story about a subject you knew nothing about and then were asked questions about it. It was hard to follow the questions, often you wouldn’t even remember reading about that. Likewise, what you might have thought was the subject of the exercise was not really the subject at all.

Here is my point. Each day, I go to visit my mom. She launches off on some story that I do not understand, that I do not follow nor does it seem to make any sense. But thankfully, from my experiences in standardized testing, I am able to start with bare minimum facts and see a story emerge. I look for little hints in the story to comprehend what we are talking about. Yesterday, her story was all about going to dinner with some people. I was able to listen for the little clues. I picked up the words “Betty and Getty” who are her stepson and his wife in Denver. Therefore, I knew she thought we were in Denver and that she anticipated going out for a nice dinner. There is no point in telling her we are not in Denver or that Betty and Getty were not taking her out to dinner. That just seems to confuse and confound her more. Sometimes, she just flat does not believe me (obviously, I must be confused about where we are because clearly we are in Denver). So, the best plan is just to tell her, no, not tonight momma. Tonight we will eat here at this place. This does not assure that she will accept this answer but after I repeat it multiple times, she goes along.

Next, she launched into asking what she should do. Should she just wait and see what happens or do I have any suggestions for her? I was not sure what she was referring to, but once again with my superior comprehension skills, I listened and waited for more information. She asked, “Well, at our age, if we have a chance to be happy, shouldn’t we just go for it?” I realized then that she was on the “Jim and I should get married track”. Again, no point in explaining that she has been married for 15 years. No point at all. I told her (again) that Jim and Jay were coming to visit after Thanksgiving and she would see them then. “Well”, she decided, “we will just see how that goes and make a decision later”. Okay, I could go with that.

Each day is a new opportunity to use those skills I learned years ago. Each time I follow her story or her reasoning makes it easier for her to think I am following and supporting her thinking. And we just thought all that test stuff was worthless.

Jim and Jay Alert!-Momma’s Going to a Mexican Restaurant!

Posted on November 3, 2012 by Exechorseluver

Lauren and her friend Megan-saying Welcome to Wharton!

Jim and Jay love Mexican food. My mother does not like it all. It has been an ongoing battle of wills since Jim and Mom got married over 15 years ago. Very little makes Jim as happy as great Mexican food and a Margarita. So, Jim has gone off on his own or when in Tucson with Jay, to get his Mexican food fix.

My little town does not have very many restaurants and fewer still that are half-way good. It is helpful if they serve alcohol because mom likes a glass of wine with her meal. Mom has been in the wheelchair with limited mobility pretty much the whole time since she has been in Wharton. But she has been up walking for the past week and I decided to throw caution to wind. The Mexican food restaurant sits up high overlooking the Colorado River. It has been a favorite since we moved here. However, there is no elevator. To get up to the restaurant you either take the stairs or a long, winding ramp.

It was just mom and I with Lauren camping with deer and Ally tied up with family things. When I got to her place she was quite distraught about the big storm that was coming. We are not having a storm. Hasn’t rained in weeks and we will be lucky if we get any rain at all this weekend. I think the residents were watching the coverage of Hurricane Sandy in New York and thought it was happening here. Mom was anxious to get of there and told me she was scared to go back because of the storm. We spent most of lunch with me trying to convince her there was not a storm brewing.

We successfully got up the long ramp. We ordered a Margarita to share and my favorite chicken with spinach and mushrooms. Okay, so it is a Mexican place but the chef serves up great concoctions of his own that are not spicy and very good. Mom really liked the chicken that came out on a steaming plate with fresh vegetables, rice and hot homemade tortillas. What a success!

Now, when Jim and Jay come to visit, they can get the food they like and mom will have something to enjoy as well. They even made her hot tea with honey.

It was easier to take her back to her place with the Margarita on board and momma ready for a nap. I admit, I too, was ready for a little afternoon siesta.

Exechorseluver

The life and times of modern day horse woman

Category Archives: Losing my mother-the advancement of Alzheimers