Lauren will be 20 years old this weekend.  She will have lived with me for all 20 years.  No one-I mean no one-not my parents, sister, ex-husband, or other daughters made it for 20 years with me.  In fact, I can’t think of anything that lasted 20 years-some good dogs and horses made it maybe 12 or 13 years. But no one, pet or family has lasted 20 long years living with me.  Okay-went off on a little rant there.  This is really about Lauren.

Just as I do not see myself growing older, nor do I see that my daughter is getting older as well.  Very little could have brought this to the forefront like the arrival of Lauren’s junior high school best friend from Canada the other night.  Megan and Lauren met at Whipple Tree Farm, sharing a love for horses.  Megan’s family had just moved here and had been shuttled around the globe a little bit with her father’s job.  Lauren had been here a few years, but in many ways was still the ‘new kid’.  Honestly, they were both a little dorky and immediately found a true friend in one another.  They had a couple of great years, learning each other’s nuances and spending as much time together and on horseback as they could.  It shattered both of their lives when Megan’s family made the difficult decision to move home to Canada that summer of their eighth grade year.

Like most of us, they have kept in touch through their Facebook adventures and emails.  They have made it through first boyfriends, high school and started college.  But they have remained friends.

This trip has been in the planning stage for many months as they counted down the time until Megan would arrive.  Megan came to spend spring break in the relatively balmy atmosphere of south Texas from Calgary.  I was shocked when I saw her.  In the place of my daughter’s best friend was this beautiful, poised, worldly young women.   I looked up at Lauren.  Had she changed before my eyes as well?  She looked the same to me.  And yet I realized on this eve of her 20th birthday that she, too, had grown up.  My little girl was forever changed, morphed and molded into a new adult human being.  Like Megan, she had become beautiful, poised and worldly too, at least as far as a girl from Wharton, Texas can become.

I am proud of these girls (women??-OMG-they must still be girls!) that have managed to sustain their friendship over the many miles and many more years.  Tonight they head to the rodeo, not covered in mud or dressed in horseback riding clothes but dressed as young women out on the town.

It took seeing Megan to realize my daughter had changed, grown and developed into a her own person.  I mean if Megan had changed so much and she had been such a part of Lauren, did it not follow that Lauren must have changed as well?

Happy Birthday, baby!  You will always be my baby girl but I am so proud of the women you have become as well!  It just took seeing your best friend for me to accept that you have become a grown up.

My Colorado Rockies beckon me to share the glory of a summer on the ranch.

Pretty impressive title, eh?  (I am practicing this for Lauren’s best friend who will join us from Canada soon.) It won’t be that serious. I have just been in the mood (a little melancholy) and been reflecting on life.  I am nearing my birthday.  It is not a big birthday (like a 50th or 60th) just an in-between birthday, but I think it still makes me stop and consider my past and my future.

What are the things I know for sure?  What are the things I still want to do?  Well, here is my list:

I know that family tops all.  While marriage was not a big success for me, my three wonderful daughters are- so nothing unsuccessful about that! My mother and all the rest of my extended family, make my life worth living.

I know I want to share more with my family of the things that meant so much to me when I was growing up.  My father was with United Airlines, so we traveled a lot.  It has been my dream for so many years to get back to Hawaii and share the islands with my girls.  We will get there together this summer.

The ranch in Colorado still beacons and maybe one day, the whole family can get away to my favorite mountains, ride horses down the trails I rode as a kid and see what life on a ranch is all about.  It is on my list.

I want to breed a mare to chosen stallion and see that baby foal be born on my property.  Lauren is not interested in this plan so  I don’t know if it will come to pass, but it has always been a dream of mine.

I want to go to Ireland.  My friend Kathy and I talked of taking our daughters and doing the horse back riding tour from one castle to the next.  Maybe I am too old and broken to make that one come true but I have not totally given up on it.

I want to see my children follow their dreams.  I hope they get the education opportunities that I did and chase what makes them happy.

And I can’t wait to see how these grandchildren continue to grow and bloom.  Each one is a unique individual.  I pray I am around long enough to see them grow up.

My friends, from so many different backgrounds, ages, life styles and worlds, support my soul and I am thankful.

Finally, I would say I am grateful for the opportunity to have my little farm, my horses, dogs and cats.  I am grateful Lauren has chosen to stay with me for a few years and build on to our little kingdom.

Bucket list, dreams of the future, thoughts to carry you through a long drive home, whatever you call them, these are mine.

p.s. Now I have a super intent black poodle interrupting me every ten seconds while I write so I can throw his ball…again.  Another one of those dreams coming true.

Home at last!

After almost a month, my 95 year-old step-father, Jim, made it back home to his place in Arizona. In a fall that might have toppled a younger, stronger man, Jim has overcome surgery to stop a bleed to his brain, subsequent days in ICU and a long road of rehab.

He has been blessed by visits from so much of his family including Janey Boo, Siobhan, Bridget, Tanner, Hannah and great-grandson Victor. Jay has been there every step of the way.  We are all hoping that Jim continues to improve and gets back to all the things he enjoys!

Jim with his favorite ‘Blue Moon’ beer.

Seven month old Irish Wolfhound puppy Nellie, thought the snow was great!

As many of you can attest from Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado and Missouri the snow has cometh!  My daughter Amber lives with her family outside Denver which had several days of blizzard conditions, including snow, wind and treacherous driving. But the one who was not at all daunted by the miserable conditions was puppy Nellie.  Amber got bundled up to go out with three year-old son Riley and the dog.  Riley got outside and instantly decided it was “too windy” and wanted to go back in. I think Nellie would have been content to stay and play for quite awhile.

Nellie is the second Irish Wolfhound for Amber’s family.  Their first Wolfhound, Miller, tragically died this summer.  He is shown below his first winter in the Colorado snow with Ryan, Amber’s husband.  I am not sure what’s bigger-the snow drift or Miller.

Miller and Ryan enjoying the snow.

I am just glad everyone was safe and warm.  I wish my Kona could have gone to play in the snow with cousin Nellie.  What a time they would have had!

Typically this is a lovely view of the front range of the mountains. Now, just snow!