My horse, Bruno, had surgery to cure an infection in his hoof, almost seven months ago. I had my fourth surgery to repair rotator cuff tears, three months ago.

I was scheduled today for an MRI with dye injected into the joint. I got to the imaging center in a pretty fair state of mind. I was actually more concerned about the money I was spending than I was the procedure. Then I got called to the x-ray room where they explained the procedure. I have had this done before and remembered needles in my shoulder, but I did not remember it as a bad time. However, I really remember child birth pretty favorably so there you go.

As she started to tell me about the needle and moving it against the bone and moving the needle again, I was almost sick. I asked her to quit talking. She told me I still had to sign the waiver. I said, okay, just no more talking. I almost left. Really. It went through my brain, that I would just have to come do it again, so I stayed.

My ability to tolerate pain is diminished. Both my shoulders hurt. I have been trying to swim and can’t. Ditto, lifting much of anything. I wish I had never had surgery on my left shoulder at all. It hurt before, but it worked. Not now. I am sure (I see doc tomorrow) that my right shoulder is completely torn, again. I am just as sure he will tell me I need immediate surgery or it will be unrepairable.

I don’t care! I just cannot do it again so soon or perhaps ever. Maybe I will have reduced use of my shoulders but can not take it again.

In this happy mood, I got home to an empty house. Okay, there were seven dogs but no Lauren. She had left a note.

She had cooked a turkey breast (peace offering). The dogs needed to be fed. Horses were fed. Then the all-star news of the day! Bruno was REALLY lame and needed to be stalled for the night. Lauren had started meds.

I don’t even know if it is the same hoof, but we can assume so. What now? I am just at a giving up point. Totally.

I hope that means better news is in store for us soon. I just hope.