Season’s End

Posted on November 24, 2013 by Exechorseluver

The weather changed from balmy 80s to wind torn, rainy 40s in the matter of an hour. For awhile on Friday morning, it appeared we would not being heading to the final horse show of the season or anywhere else. The rain accumulated quickly, flooding our side yard. Lauren, alone at home with responsibility of loading Feather and getting her to the show was agitated and anxious. Feather did not want to load, standing ankle deep in water outside the trailer. But she did and off they went.

Abby and Jordyn, Leadline and horse buds, bundled up against the damp cold

Saturday after a visit to my mom’s, we headed to the show. This season has been remarkable for Lauren. She and Feather started their first show in the hunter ring jumping just over two feet. They have grown, matured and taken their bumps. Yesterday, Feather showed in the three foot jumpers. As they went clean through their last round, I did a double take at the clock. The winning time was 17.403 and Feather clocked in at 18.003. And I swear she looked like she was strolling around the ring. We even had commented she looked pokey. Guess not! Lauren will close out the season today.

For the second time in 15 years (and the first time I was flat on back with a broken pelvis) I am not with Lauren at a show. Two rounds of drugs later, the shingles have taken over my life. My blisters are gone but the pain continues unabated. I am beginning to wonder if I have not finally and completely destroyed my bad hip. I could not go to show and be on my feet. I know my show family will look out for Lauren. I pray God keeps her safe.

my momma and I at the home’s Thanksgiving celebration

Also, today was the Thanksgiving dinner at the nursing home. Ally came with Jordyn and Kendyll festively dressed. I do not know how Elmcroft managed to do it, but they had an excellent hot dinner for so many happy generations of people. It was a good day for my mom and all of us blessed enough to share it with her.

Jordyn loving her great grandma!

I am hoping for some good news soon that Lauren and Feather had a good day and are safely headed home. Wherever you are today, stop for a moment and give thanks for your wonderful family and dear friends. I know I did.

My Readers, My Friends

Posted on November 20, 2013 by Exechorseluver

I get surprised when I write something here, in this blog, and then have a random encounter with someone who has read it. This happened last year with Feather, a horse show, and the judge knowing her name from being a reader of the blog.

I write because as I have always said, how will I know what I think if I don’t see what I have to say? I need writing to ease out the strain, to explore the gifts I am given and express myself when sometimes I cannot in person.

This weekend at the horse show, I saw an acquaintance who I know from the horse show world, whom I am friends with on Facebook. I had seen photos from the show so knew she might be around. Still I was pleased and surprised when Liz came to visit with me in the stands on Sunday. She told me she reads all my blogs.

It was so nice to hear. I can see statistics, like how many readers saw posts on any given day, and how many posts I have published (almost 400) but these stats do not put names to the numbers or give me a clue who my audience is.

Likewise, I am surprised when something I write alarms someone. I deal with my mother and her care every day. Usually by the time I write about something, we are past it and on to something new. I was quite worried about her last week. By Sunday she was slightly better but by yesterday she was bright, charming, talking about Jim and wanting to know when he was coming to pick her up. However, meanwhile in Arizona, Jim was very worried about her based upon my blog.

I promise if there is ever a major crisis I will notify the family involved first before going on to discuss it on my blog. I apologize to Jim and Jay for worrying them but it was not the best of weeks. I am glad she is re-oriented to world.

Feather is getting along well with her stitched up face. Lauren has been showing her all year in the Greater Houston Hunter Jumper Association (GHHJA) which awards year-end achievement for each division. Lauren and Feather started out in the Pre-Green Hunters and they are currently only one point out of Reserve Champion for the year. Of course, they subsequently moved up and on to jumpers and hope to place in Junior/Adult Jumper as well. This weekend in the final show, Feather and Lauren will get back in the hunter ring to try to earn that illusive one point to push them to Reserve Champ status.

By definition, hunters are required to look pretty while jumping so the row of stitches across her cheek maybe a little bit of a problem. We have thought about some fleece but the vet is afraid the stitches will catch in it. The bridle runs directly over the stitches. She is fine to be ridden but I do not want to rub the stitches. We will see what great idea I can come up with to pad the bridle and look nice. Ideas?

My son-in-law Luke had surgery yesterday for a hernia. I remember clearly when that was an inpatient procedure. What we can put up, from a pain perspective, and what can be managed better in the hospital are two different things. Medically, did he need to be in the hospital? No, but I bet everyone would have rested better if he had been. He had a rough night. I am sure each day will get a little better for him.

My friend Sue stopped by tonight to meet Bruno for the first time. We have known each other since we boarded our horses at the same barn back when Lauren was taking her first rides on Kid. I always admired barrel racer, Sue’s work ethic. She would take on an OTTB retraining project and do wonders with the horse. It was way before anyone else had jumped on that band wagon. I admired her determination to work her horses regardless of weather. You might find her riding down the covered stall rows or on any piece of dry ground. She also would ride in shorts and paddock boots on her English saddle. Not an easy feat.

Bruno loved her and Sue couldn’t get over his huge size and amazing gentleness.

The holidays are upon us. While Lauren finishes up at the horse show this weekend, Ally, Kendyll, Jordyn and I will be at the Thanksgiving Feast at my mom’s nursing home. I am glad we can be there with her and that she is feeling better.

As always, thanks for riding along! I appreciate so many of you who are interested enough to see what we are up to at Six Meadow Farm!

Sue being dwarfed by big Bruno

patient and quietly posing with his guest of the day!

Momma, Winning and Stitches

Posted on November 18, 2013 by Exechorseluver

Never a dull moment around here, all week when I had been stopping to see my mom, I had found her asleep in an almost coma like state. Wednesday, I found her sound sleep. Usually, I open her squeaky door and I will wake her up. She has always been a light sleeper. I don’t remember one instance of her ever falling asleep in a chair or even on the couch.

But this week my mother was unwakeable (is that a word?). At one point I laid down next to her, just to hold her hand. She opened her eyes for a moment, stared at me and said, “we have had some wonderful years, haven’t we?” Then I thought she died. It was horrible. I thought her sleeping meds were being given at the wrong time but the nursing staff says no. Saturday, Lauren and I found her sound asleep sitting up on the couch in the main lobby. We had difficulty getting her to her room. We laid her on her bed. Seconds later, we both pushed her further into the bed, lifting her body roughly (although not meaning to). She never opened her eyes.

It hasn’t gotten any better. She does not know me and is extremely confused. No pictures of momma this week as she would have been asleep in all of them! The doctor is running some tests. Please say a prayer for her!

We went Sunday to watch our friend, Kathy’s, horse, go in the jumper classic. We have seen this horse regularly since he was first purchased and have seen him jump well but not quite be a top, winning horse. His name is Capitano and he is a striking, bay horse. He was young when we first saw him go but the couple years of showing and training have done wonders for this horse. Cappy was last to go yesterday, with five horses already clean to the jump off. Trapp (the trainer and rider) rode him clean and in the time allowed to join the others in the jump off. Last to go again, Trapp knew the time he had to beat and that he had to go clean to win.

The Cappy I saw yesterday seemed thrilled to be asked for some speed. Trapp took some quick, tight turns amongst the course jumps. As he gunned it to the last fence, the clock showed he had the win if he could keep the last jump intact. Cap and Trapp flew through the timers and the win was all theirs. It was a beautiful example of schooling your horse along, not asking for too much, too soon, then reaping a great payoff when all your training comes together.

Feather’s beautiful face that we believe was grazed by a hunter’s bullet

We got home to find another bloody horse. Feather had been out in the pasture. It is hunting season. I think and the vet concurs, that a bullet grazed her. Google grazing bullet wounds. Looks like Feather’s face. So, it was off for an emergency session with the vet. We had been bragging at the show, that we had three horses hurt and we were now good to go. Stupid. Feather got some inter dermal (not sure if that is the right word) but little stitches inside the closing stitches. The vet hospital has broken ground on a new wing. I feel we should get a room or stall in our name.

Feather with her new stitches

Snowboy is beginning to look a little suspect, as the only horse not needing vet care in the last three weeks. We should install a camera so we can see what is really happening when we leave the barn.

I have been diagnosed with Shingles so figure the stress is getting to me. Thank you for riding along and keep us in your prayers.

How momma’s changed

Posted on October 31, 2013 by Exechorseluver

This is not meant to berate or belittle my mother, I have loved her dearly all my life, but the woman I have loved has changed over the years.

My mother was the quintessential 60’s house wife. My dad had a busy, important job with the airlines and she was supposed to be a top cook, hostess, housekeeper and mother. I cannot imagine doing all she did. Perhaps because she had so little control over so much of her life, she was a little obsessive about her food and meals. If you went out to a meal with my mother between say 1961 through 2012, you were in for an event. She would not like where she was seated. Too cold, too drafty, too something, you were probably going to be asked to change seats with her. Before anyone could order, she had to know what they planned to eat. And no matter what she ordered, whatever you ordered would be what she wanted.

After all the food came, something would not be cooked to my mother’s specifications. While we waited with our food, hers was returned to the kitchen. I remember one trip to Hawaii where each morning her eggs would go back to the kitchen as not done enough. On vacation day four, my father had it! He took the boiled egg to the head waiter. He told them to go cook it like a hockey puck! That worked!

The second issue that has played into almost every family event since Amber’s birth over 30 years ago, was that my mother had a bad stomach. Schedule a christening, a big night out, Christmas dinner with friends and mom would be in her room vomiting with what we dubbed ” special occasion flu”. I will never understand it.

Forget Mexican, Italian, Indian or any spicy food, mom could not manage it. The amount of antacids, stomach drugs, and medical care were astounding. And rarely was there a night when more than just milk and crackers were all she could manage. One Christmas Eve, I found her vomiting in bathroom. I thought it was the latest special occasion flu. Except there was blood everywhere. I thought she would die on Christmas Eve. She had a bleeding ulcers that let her spend the holidays getting blood transfusions.

So what’s my point? Today as a treat I took a McDonalds milk shake to her. Since she has moved into the center, she has not been sick to her stomach once. Not one Tums has made it’s way down her throat. She excitedly tried to decide if she wanted a tuna or ham sandwich, neither of which she would have eaten before. Like ever!

It is nice to see her happy to try most anything and be excited about it as well. I have relatives that would not recognize my mom eating what she is now. I guess this is a HUGE plus to her life with dementia. It has effected her personality making her calmer, gentler and accepting. While I miss so many things about my old mom, the one that would have remembered my sister and dad. I am thrilled with this little lady that told me just today that her cranberry juice was the best thing ever, well maybe. That Quaker Oats cereal bar was outstanding as well.

You have taken so much from dear momma, Mr. Dementia, but I am grateful her stomach doesn’t churn with anxiety related issues. Not a sign of her old ulcers. I am happy that in a small town, she finds the food outstanding. I will take this little piece of happiness in the midst of the darkness.

Thanks for riding along! Bruno with his face full of stitches is feeling better. Mick walked across the paddock on a hoof that was still sensitive but way better. Even the tiny kitty is seemingly, finally on the mend. Pixie is off to Pine Hill to be looked at tomorrow. I hope they love her like we do (and she leaves in their trailer as their new horse). Please continue to keep us in your prayers.

momma showing off her new shoes and drinking a Boost (says it is the best drink ever!)

Off to Hawaii with Momma!

Posted on September 27, 2013 by Exechorseluver

Momma, Jordyn and I getting ready for the Hawaiian party.

In the fine fashion of Elmcroft Assisted Living we all enjoyed Hawaiian night! The assisted living home plans occasional “special” nights for the residents and I knew momma would be interested in the Hawaiian night. Hawaii is her all time favorite place and while she does not respond or react to many things these days, her eyes lit up with recognition when I started to mention Hawaii a few weeks ago.

Lauren and I had planned to go as I still remember last Thanksgiving when the residents who did not have family seemed so woe begotten and lost. Plus, we could not argue that we had nothing to wear since we had a trip to the islands just months ago. At the last-minute, Ally agreed to come with Kendyll and Jordyn and we all embarked on a nice evening. Mom swayed along with the Hawaiian music, seemed to enjoy the pageantry of Leis and island food. I tried to convince Ally and Lauren to get up and do the hula but they were not going along with my plan.

Momma watching her youngest great-grandchild, Kendyll.

Jordyn took on the staff in a limbo contest and won it all. Of course, she was half the size of the rest of contestants!

Limbo!

Momma had fun and enjoyed her brief trip to the islands. And as Ally said, and I concur, it was the most festive Friday night she has had in awhile!

Jim is getting married (wait, he already is!)

Posted on September 5, 2013 by Exechorseluver

Yesterday I got to the nursing home to find mom resting on her bed. Always my favorite, because I get to lie down beside her and rest my aching back, too.

She was pleased to see me and told me she was so happy I had gotten there when I did because she had just gotten some awful news. I never know what the news is going to be, from the home closing, to an awful storm brewing, to her not being allowed to go in her room, the results were always varied and never the same. Today’s catastrophe would be a new one.

Earnestly, she looked at me and said, “Jim is getting married!” Huh, that was a new one. I explained to her that she was still married to Jim so he could not marry someone else. Immediately, she became indignant (as she always does when I do not believe something she says). “Yes, he is and to a younger women!”. I could see that arguing this point was going to be of no use.

The rest of visit was spent going over the details of Jim’s marriage. Now, remember, she has not seen or talked to Jim since December of last year. With complications with their hearing and their health, I have been limited to reading her notes that Jim sends and reminding her about him and that he loves her.

But in her mind, Jim had been there at the nursing home with her. Breaking her heart with the news that he had fallen in love with another women! She went on to tell me that the women had children, but she had not really listened to him when he told he that part because who wants to know details like that about their rival (that’s what she told me!).

I tried a couple of times, unsuccessfully, to tell her that she was still married to Jim and he was not getting married to anyone else. She was not interested. Or not accepting that could be true. She told me he would not be available to drive her to the doctor next week so I better make plans to take her.

It was a brutal visit and sad. I can only imagine that after all this time apart she has come up with this as the only reason Jim would not be visiting her. Obviously, he had to have meet someone else.

I hope on my next visit she is off on a new kick and not worried about Jim and his new bride. What I really hope is that Jay and Jim can once again make the long trek to Texas again this fall and they can be re-united again.

____________________________________

Feather and Lauren are off to a horse show tomorrow. I have reserved two stalls for the October Pine Hill show in hopes Bruno might be ready to make his debut in the ring. (OH MY GOODNESS THAT WOULD BE AMAZING!) But if not, maybe Snowney can come and he and Jordyn can enter the Halloween costume class. Any great ideas for a white pony and pretty little girl-I am totally okay with painting the pony rainbow colors or whatever it takes to have an imaginative and creative Halloween entry. Send me your ideas!

Momma’s one year Texas Anniversary

Posted on August 30, 2013 by Exechorseluver

One year ago, after a lot of planning, strategizing, and packing
We moved my 88 year old mom away from her husband of 15 years
To Texas

Nothing about the decision, the enactment of it or getting her to leave her
Beloved Jim and Colorado was easy. I will never forget sleeping next to her
That last night.

I had no idea how we would do at the airport or on the plane. Confusion was
The norm. Being afraid was all my little mother seemed to know. And fair
Enough.

I was taking her away from everyone she knew and loved. From places at least a little
Familiar and setting her on a journey to a new home with only me from whom to receive
Reassurance.

Wow! It was so scary as we made the long drive from the airport. I had always been the child
And she the mom. Now I was forced to parent my parent. What if she hated the new place or
Just wanted to go home?

Well, of course it is all alright, for the most part. She has days when she is scared and days when the regrets come slowly and smiles quick. At least I know all that happens to her and all she does
Each day.

It’s been a year. I will be richer all my life for these treasured days with her. If I only get that little
Glimpse from to time of the momma I used to know, I will hang on tightly to those memories and hope for more.

Happy first year in Texas, Momma. I love you.

Momma’s good day

Posted on August 28, 2013 by Exechorseluver

Momma dolled up in pink and having a good day.

My mother has various personas that appear from time to time. Recently, it has been the slightly paranoid, slightly crazy, highly agitated momma that has met me when I have come to the nursing home. Believe me, that is not the momma you want to have greet you. No matter what I say, I cannot convince her that whatever the issue is, from not being able to go in her room, to people coming to take away her bed, to a giant storm that is brewing, that none of these things, no matter how untrue, can I deter her from believing.

It is extremely frustrating. There was a time when I could get her to follow my logic and focus if I discussed her great-granddaughter Jordyn or perhaps getting her hair done. At this moment, I am the only person she knows and pretty much recognizes. Can you imagine out of all the hundreds of people you have met and known over 89 years of your life, that you know only one? Even the people she sees every day at the home, she does not know or can’t distinguish between them. I will not go as far as saying it has been very difficult to visit her these last few weeks, but it has.

Yesterday, I walked in to the nursing home to have the staff tell me that my mom was having quite a day. She had been out in the living room/lobby all day long and had been entertaining everyone with her quick wit and humor. My mom has always had a good sense of humor, if you tell her a joke but she has never been the one with the verbal barb or come back. Yesterday she was.

In the morning, she was sitting on the couch with another resident when a visitor from a home health agency showed up with donuts. Quickly she assessed the food offering and said, “we will take two of those over here!” She was always good at ordering food at restaurants (or at least sending back her food when it did not meet her standards). I guess that skill is ingrained in her memory.

As the day progressed, she was on a mission to figure out if I was there yet. So, every possible person coming into the lobby was asked, “Are you Cindy?”. Finally one of the male Hispanic residents walked in. To him, she said, “Well, I know you are not Cindy!”. You have to understand, on most days she seems not even to notice or register anything new going on at all, much less questioning all to find me.

She was dressed in her usual pink but asked her favorite helper, Wanda, if she could not just take off the jacket. She asked her, “this is just much too young a look for me, isn’t it”? Then she proceeded to ask Wanda, who was dressed in a pink floral almost Hawaiian type outfit, if she could please have her clothes. Wanda said no!

When I got there we hung out on the main living room couch with all the other residents for a while. She asked me about Jim and Jay and just seemed to be a little more aware than usual.

Toward the end of our visit, she leaned over and whispered to me, “Can we go outside and smoke something?”. WOW-I am going to assume she was asking about barbecuing or perhaps smoking a side of beef. I told her not right now.

Whatever caused the change to happy momma, I am okay with. Sometimes, you just got to go with the flow!

Coming Home

Posted on June 17, 2013 by Exechorseluver

My vacation view from my chaise lounge in Maui.

Of course, first there was getting home which involved leaving the condo at 2:30 pm HST Saturday and finally arriving home at 10:30 am CDT Sunday. My mother used to refuse to do the overnight flight from Honolulu as she said she could never sleep. It must be like forgetting the pain of childbirth before the next baby, but I was convinced I would sleep just fine on an airplane full of people when I struggle to sleep in my own bed.

Ally, Jo Etta and I did not sleep at all, not for even a minute. Kendyll had a bad time getting to sleep and I worried about her sleeping entirely on Ally’s broken arm.

By the time we got to the farm I was just glad to be home. Texas looked like a poor Polynesia after the flowers and views of Maui. It was apparent there had been a lot of rain, my gardens were lush (and actually blooming with Plumerias-a Hawaiian flower I grow). I was so excited to see my poodle, Kona, and all the dogs. I had missed them tremendously hurrying down the beach to accost and pet any dog that ventured there with their human.

Richard, our house sitter extraordinaire, did a fabulous job keeping up with all the chores that make up our life on the farm. It is reassuring to have someone we can count on when we are gone that takes our requests (all 31 pages of them-okay it wasn’t quite that bad) seriously and tries to do exactly what we ask and then some.

After getting the dogs out except for Kona and Lula who went with us, Lauren and I headed to the barn. Still in our traveling clothes, we were immediately covered in sweat. We might have been visiting a tropical island, but the humidity and heat level in Texas far exceeded that of the tropical isle. First, I am not complaining, it worked fine, but each horse was to have a fly mask for their face. I had told Rich to use them each day but had not demonstrated exactly how they went on. It brought a smile to our faces to see Mick, Feather and Pixie with their fly masks on but strangely askew looking back at us from the pasture.

The horses and barn all looked good. Bruno had a couple of new scrapes but I think he is the type of horse that will always find a way to get hurt, just like a young boy with the perpetual skinned knees. Rich had told us Kid had been kicked and had a cut lip, but Kid cuts his lip on a regular basis so I don’t think any kicking was involved. Mickey and Pixie looked a little fatter. But Lauren and I might have as well-we were on vacation you know.

We probably spent a couple hours out at the barn, just fiddling around with things, lungeing Bruno, hosing off hot horses. Except for the incredible heat it was a nice way to spend the afternoon. We got unpacked, the washer running and beds changed-you know, the usual back from vacation stuff.

I went to see my mom. I had found her some pink shirts that were Hawaiian looking and stopped for a chocolate milk shake. She was pretty happy to see me. I, on the other hand, was overtaken with emotion upon seeing her. This was the longest time I had gone without seeing her since I brought her here from Colorado. I was hugging her tight and holding back tears. I am not sure she even really knew I had been gone. But I sure had felt her absence, especially have been somewhere she had been such a part of on so many visits to the islands.

I got to bed early. I was home.

Weekend Roundup

Posted on June 2, 2013 by Exechorseluver

Lauren and Feather had a horse show on Saturday. Typically, jumpers go first so it was decided to move Feather back to the jumper ring and move her up in height so she would be tackling the 2’9-3 foot jumps for the first time. Ally was coming down to stay with the kids so Rick and Dodie could have a break and also so they would be here for mom’s 89th birthday party.

Not clear as to why, but the schedule got reversed at the horse show and suddenly we were waiting most of Saturday to ride. As it got later and later, we made the decision to stay in the lower division of jumpers as it would go first and we could get home to Ally.

Feather working her way through the course.

It turned out to be a good decision, Feather was jumping very well. She would have been fine at the higher height but I think Lauren was more confident going in at her usual height. All their rounds were clean, under the allowed time and she placed better each round. There were 12 or so horses and she picked up a sixth, fifth and fourth without any push on the speed. Dev told them their last round was the best they have ever ridden. It was nice. While waiting for our rounds, we met up with the owner of Feather’s same age, half-sister. It was great to see the two mares together, both from the stallion, Flagmount’s Freedom. The sister, Flagmount’s Mischief owned by Robbie Peterson, had been started earlier than Feather and has come further than Feather. They ended up tying for Grand Champion of their Open Jumper division and I know Robbie was there working on precision not speed.

Lauren on Flagmount’s Irish Freedom and Robbie with Flagmount’s Mischief

It was a busy evening, getting Ally and the girls settled, the horses done and chores finished. I stayed with baby Kendyll as they all went to town for ice cream.

This morning, we got going early cooking and fixing things up for mom’s 139th birthday (really her 89th). I appreciate all of you that sent cards and suspect she may have a few more before her actual birthday on Tuesday. She was so happy to hear from everyone and was humbled that so many cared to send cards!

Momma’s many cards, flowers and gifts!

I think she had a great celebration and the only downside is that she asked for Jim over and over. We told her he just wasn’t feeling up to making the party today but loved her and had sent a card.

She loved her new clothes and couldn’t wait to try them on.

Ally went with Lauren to take her home. We had quite a rain and I wanted to get the horses back out. I carried Kendyll to the barn in my good arm with Jordyn along to help out. I quickly gave up holding Ken and getting the horses. I sat Kendyll down in the sand and quickly got the horses turned out. In that short moment of time, Kendyll and Jordyn got covered in sand. In their hair, mouth, and all over. So, what is a grandma to do?

The girls in the farmhouse sink.

What else, stick them in the sink!

Exechorseluver

The life and times of modern day horse woman

Category Archives: Losing my mother-the advancement of Alzheimers