Sky Blue and Black- Lenten Writing #6

Posted on March 6, 2017 by Exechorseluver

Arianna and Roy riding into the Sky Blue and Black

Jackson Browne wrote a song called Sky Blue and Black from which I unabashedly stole the idea for my blog today. I have always loved the song and the thought of a sky blue and black. I have kept this picture of Arianna for a long time knowing one day I would write about it because the visual in this picture above is so striking.
The weather has continued to send waves of spring rain to us. The sky has been maniacally flowing from a dab of sun, to crushing rain which then beats a soggy retreat until zooming in to do it all over again. In the picture above, my friend Arianna, is riding with sun on her back into a viciously dark blue and black sky.

It is easy for me to see the sky as my metaphor for life. As we reflect (especially in this Lenten season) on what is important and dear to us, it is equally important to understand that storms blow in and out of our life as the sun may continue to shine. Dare I suggest the sun is the Son?

Pretty deep thinking for a Monday. I am enjoying a Lenten devotional that is guiding my way this season. If Jesus and God are not your thing, that’s okay as well, the sun can just be sun.

Sky Blue and Black above the farm.

My life has always been a series of mixed blessings. I was born with congenital hip dysplasia that left me, the happy infant I was, locked down in a body cast that extended from my toes to my chest on my left leg and my knee to my chest on my right (there was a handy hole to stuff a diaper in) for the first 18 months of my life. As a teen and an adult I have had abundant treasure and bone-shaking misery. But haven’t we all?

Right now I am adjusting to my new self-imposed departure of my friends that were my boarders here at Six Meadow Farm. Certainly, with all the rain it is wonderful to have empty stalls that do not need to be cleaned. My morning routine has been dramatically cut short with fewer horses to feed. And yet (here it is…) I miss the sound of the driveway gate opening and eagerly looking to see who had arrived.

As I sit on the patio surrounded by empty chairs, I crave the quiet while lamenting the absence of my friends.

Life is not singularly sunny nor horrifyingly black.
A verse from Sky Blue and Black by Jackson Browne

And the heavens were rolling
Like a wheel on a track
And our sky was unfolding
And it’ll never fold back
Sky blue and black

Houston dawn-Sky Blue and Black

Thanks for riding along.

The Time of My Life -Lent Writing #5

Posted on March 5, 2017 by Exechorseluver

00beach

After nine days of vacation, my hours are numbered until I return to work. The weather has continued to be rainy and non-hospitable, and I have been hunkered down in the house except for occasional forays out to the barn to clean stalls (okay, actually Lauren has been cleaning the stalls).

On my vacation I traveled to a foreign country, laid in the tropical sun, spent many wonderful hours with my closest friends (who are also my daughters) and learned a few things as well. I am happy to be headed back to my usual world.

I am grateful to see 60. My sister never had even an opportunity to see 28. All the experiences I have had, both positive and negative, have lead me to where I am today. I am still learning, growing and trying to improve. Thank God I have that opportunity!

May all of you have the time for the life you want. Do not waste it.

Thanks for riding along.

Goals-Lent Writing #4

Posted on March 4, 2017 by Exechorseluver

I am all about goals. I was raised in a home where goals were important. Each year I write new goals for myself and for my home/family/animals. I do not always succeed.

This year I vowed to take 40 dressage lessons. Ailments, weather and work have derailed me but I think I can still focus and get this done.

I would like to share a couple of quotes from a recent Health Magazine article on goals. It happens that both men have a name that invokes toughness and determination or said another way…Will Power.

I like the first Will’s goal of many small goals. While I feel this is very obvious when trying to win the Indy 500, how many of us set up for a huge goal that will never be accomplished? By setting small goals be it in life or riding a horse or in your job, you take more of an opportunity to actually accomplish each goal.

Likewise, the other Will says to share your goal with many so you are accountable. Brilliant as well.

It is a quiet, rainy day here and one which I can use to reflect on what I need to accomplish next. I am grateful for quiet, reflective times in an over-loud world.

Enjoy your day and thanks for riding along.

Feather looking out into the gray day. Reflecting on her goals for the year, no doubt.

Cha-cha-changes Lent Writing # 3

Posted on March 3, 2017 by Exechorseluver

Empty pastures but a rainbow in the distance.

Remember that old song by David Bowie (or not) about turning and facing the changes? Well, I got to face a change I made the first of February that was effective when I got home from the cruise.

The last weekend of January I gathered all my boarders together for an announcement. I am not sure what any of them was expecting but I don’t think it was what I said. I told them I was closing the boarding portion of the barn effective March 15th.

Many things had lead me to making this decision that would change my life and my lifestyle. It would also grind to dust many of my dreams.

Certainly, things have been leading up to this for sometime. I had increasing responsibilities at my day job. Lauren was increasingly gone at hers.

Meanwhile, my health was deteriorating in many ways most of them orthopedic. And my ability to get up day after day after day dwindled and exhaustion set in.

On an average day I would get up around 4:30 am. This is not predawn, it’s before dawn even thinks about getting out of bed. I would bundle up, strip down or cover up according to the weather that faced me when I walked out the back door. The dogs would be fed, the horses brought in from the pastures, the horses fed and the cats tended to as well.

A quick shower, fresh clothes, make up and hair done, off I would whirl to work. I have a very busy job at a Fortune 30 Company. Responsibilities are huge and make no mistake-futures are based on past merits. Every day it is important I bring my best game to work. Sleepless, hurt or aching could not be acknowledged nor would it be admired.

And before you ask, no retirement from my job is not an option. Too many years in the volatile health care industry as a single mom with three kids has totally waylaid the retirement option.

Likewise after the day job, especially when Lauren is gone, I still had a full-time job to come home to despite the best efforts of my daughter Ally who has sacrificed her family, schooling and friends to always be there to help me out.

By week four of Lauren’s journey to Florida both Ally and I had had it.

And it was not something that could be solved simply by Lauren’s return. It was more fundamental and basic than that. As much as we loved our boarders, they were a constant, never ending reminder of work to be done and challenges to meet.

You might’ve noticed I posted very few times from Christmas until now. During that time I learned I would need surgery on both of my hands- get this-I need bi-lateral thumb replacements. Seriously. Who has even heard of that? I also learned my back had severe osteoarthritis, for which nothing could be done. And honestly, effectively managing any of the barn chores without my hands and without using my back is pretty impossible.
Plus, I had the added advantage of three years of tax data just finished. And maybe because of the service we were trying to provide and the high quality foods we were feeding we were certainly not making a profit. This added the final piece to the puzzle of if we should be a boarding barn.

Since our announcement, boarders have been moving out by bit and day by day. When we returned from our trip only one boarder was left. Lisa who is our housesitter and my ever faithful back up when Lauren is gone will continue to keep her horse here. At least until this year of traveling is done for Lauren.

All of these things make my decision a good one. How many changes especially dream crushing, life altering, changes are easy? I would guess none.

When you have this many animals you are constantly counting. I count the cats when I go outside the door to be sure they haven’t followed. I count the dogs when I come back in the door to make sure they have. And whenever I am outside I constantly survey the pastures and make sure every horse is where it should be.

Today, I kept looking across at the mare’s pasture. I only saw three horses there; Nova, Betty Sue, and Feather. It has thrown me off-kilter. Likewise, I excitedly headed to the barn last night anticipating telling tales of our wonderful cruise. But no one was there.

I will grow used to this. But it will take some time. The major advantage is with my own horses only to care for, I will not need to race out to feed or hay or take horses to the pasture at any given time. I am only here to serve my own needs and those of my own horses.

Important changes. Life-changing changes. Perhaps life extending changes.

As always, thanks for riding along.

Coming Home-Lent Writing#2

Posted on March 2, 2017 by Exechorseluver

Last night, for Lent, I chose to do something to make me a better person instead of my usual give up red meat thing that I have done for the last several years.

I will write a new post everyday until Easter -45 days away now. Last night’s blog went off like a bomb. Big, booming and wounding those I love. So, trust me I wrote it (you can even read some comments about it) but the post is down.

My daughters surprised me with a wonderful birthday cruise. So, let’s move on.

Today we got off the boat in Galveston to chilly late winter weather. The skies were crystal clear but the north wind was strong and unrelenting. The walk from the ship to the parking area was a little over a mile. Lauren and Amber had on shorts. I was rockin’ some capris. But by the time we reached the car I had lost all thoughts of the tropical paradise we had recently left and wasn’t sure I could feel my legs either.

But in the short five days we had been gone, it was noticeably greener and flowers were everywhere especially the early blooming azaleas.

Our tree lined road was fully in bud. It was all the color I would call new spring green, almost as fluorescent lime green, adorning all of the branches. The piercingly cold blue sky set a perfect picture.

Is always a thrill to turn through our gate and look down towards the pastures I identified a horse laying in the field. But I couldn’t quite get my head around whose horse it was. Then an A HA moment struck me and I thought “you’re so stupid, that is Sims!”

I am gone five days and I do not recognize my own baby. It was great to see them all happy and healthy and enjoying the sunny day. As we pulled up into the garage, Lauren quickly went and opened the door so the dogs could come out.

You know I always say no one can ever love me with as much exuberance and adoration as my own dog. A human being is never going to jump up-and-down excitedly, whipping their body back-and-forth in ecstasy upon just seeing you return. No one is ever going to do that. But my joy that I got from watching their Joy was tremendous.

Even the cats seemed to be standing at attention spread exactly 12 inches apart as they lined the countertop. I could hear their meowing from even outside the door.

As I grabbed a jacket, I rushed to follow Lauten out to the barn. Just checking up that everything was OK and everyone was all right. Things looked good and we were blessed to have great house sitters in Lisa and Jordan.

It took a while to get back inside and get started on those chores with all the swimsuits, coverups, shorts and T shirts to be washed. It was a long afternoon of work. I got everything finished and put away. I got my bed made with fresh sheets, all the horses fed and put away for the night. Amber, Ally, Jordyn and Kendyll came over so Jordyn could ride. My daughters and I had our last meal together for probably quite some time. It is always so hard for me to have Amber leave.

I am happily home and have no intention of going anywhere unless it is to see my wonderful Flexible baby due in early July.

Thank you for supporting my 46 days of Lent write-a-thon. More tomorrow!!

Exechorseluver

The life and times of modern day horse woman

Category Archives: 2017 Lent Writings