Horse Ads-real ads what they might really mean

A friend of mine called me about a barrel horse she had seen in the local horse ads.  I was intrigued to see what other horses might be listed on this site.  Apparently, no one edits or checks these ads.  I know I misspell words occasionally or leave out a word-but I proof-read multiple times and make Lauren read each post out loud.  So, I understand errors happen. But, if something is going to be published check to see what you wrote and if it makes sense.  For instance, horses are measured in hands.  A 15 hand horse can be 15.1, 15.2 or 15.3 hands high, if over 15.3 the next increment is 16 hands and so on.  Each hand is four inches (the size of an average man’s hand back before we could order a giant measuring stick from the Dover catolog).

I collected some of my favorite ads. I remember reading an article a while back that had some good definitions of what words in a horse ad really mean.  So if the ad says this-it might mean this:

  • Bomb-proof:  (will never, ever move)
  • Can Jump the moon (and the pasture gate)
  • Walks-trots-canters quietly (but will never stop at the gallop)
  • ‘A’ Show pony not for beginner (or any other type of rider)
  • OTTB-sound (when he is not lame)
  • Exciting to ride (for the bi-polar personality)

Note-I have copied the actual ad as it was written for release (I swear).  The original ad appears in normal type and my obnoxious comments are bolded.

Ad #1-Percheron for sale 

Billy is a beautiful flea-bitten grey percheron. 17.5 (no such thing)hands tall, would be awesome for a person of any size. He is gentle, needs a little flexing work (because he is stiff or lame). Hopped on him after not being ridden for two years yesterday and he did awesome!  (So he has had no work for two years (totally out of condition)-he did awesome but rider may be dead.)

  poa

 A

d #2- POA Pony      
Stunning little POA that is broke to ride but needs more saddle blankets (not sure what that means unless it is like my dad said a good horse needs to have sweated through a lot of saddle pads.  He is obviously not well broke!).  Not a kids horse at this time (or ever), (so why take a picture with the kid on him clearly making you believe he is a kid’s pony?) although my kids have ridden her she is spoiled and likes to do things her way (I read this as the pony is a bully-like most ponies).  She sticks out at 13.3 and is SOLID (fat?)built. 

Ad # 3- Leadline Pony-Show Season Starts Soon! 

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Nick is a Palomino Shetland Pony Gelding thats is an estimated 18+ years old. (I am guessing at least 25!)
He has a very long flowing blond mane and tail. And is cute as a button.
He is leadline broke (bareback or with a saddle).
He will carry a bridle, but hasn’t been taught to steer to ride independantly.(You cannot not ride him by yourself!)
We lead my 1 year old nefew on him, and he’s great. But have 2 welsh ponies and just don’t do anything with this one.
He is a pony, so he can be a butt. (This scares me as he freely admits the pony is the pony from hell but wait this is the best ad ever!)  But not biting, kicking, ect… Is hard to catch in a pasture, but jut shake a feed bucket. (And he will run you down to get to the food!)
He does only have one ear, the previous owners said he was attacked by coyotes. (I burst out laughing the first time I read this!!  Not what I think of when I think Leadline pony.  Wow-maybe I can get him and Kendyll can do Pin Oak Leadline on the one eared pony next year-and about that…)
He is fine, is not ear shy or head shy. His long mane and forlock cover it. (Are you serious-does he look like a slightly skewed Unicorn?)  So its just cosmectic.(How does that work?  Is there a hole in his head where his ear was or it sewed over like a missing eye?  Way too creepy for me!)
He does not like 2 horse Straight load trailers. But is perfect in a stock trailer. Summer Series are starting soon. Here is a great little guy to show off. (I do not even believe this ad exists-who would pay money for a one-eared, mean, unloading, unrideable pony?)

 If you are interested in any of these horses, I can steer you to the actual ad.  Lauren seriously wants the one-eared pony to be Bruno’s pet.    Not coming here!!  No wonder it is so hard to find the right horse!

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