I am constantly in a state of waiting for the next thing. It is very difficult for me to be in the “now”. I get up in the morning, hurry through my feeding chores, get dressed, hurry out of the house, hurry down the freeway to work, hurry through projects at work, hurry through lunch, hurry through the afternoon so I can hurry down the freeway, hurry home to feed the animals and hurry to get to bed so I can be sure to get enough sleep so I can hurry through tomorrow.
What kind of life is this? How many of us are guilty of the same. We look forward to our upcoming weekend activities and then can’t wait to get home so we can get ready to get back to work (not necessarily because we want to go to work but because we are afraid we will be too tired to do a good job at work).
At some point in my life, I must stop the hurrying. I must stop the treadmill. It is not about having a vacation or being well, it is about making better choices about spending time. Undoubtedly, my best moment of each day is when I sit in the early evening after the horses, dogs and cats are all fed and watered. Usually, Lauren is off doing young adult with the boyfriend things. I am alone. I sit in the plastic chair in front of the barn, in the shade and just watch. If I truly do it right, I see not only the chores that I have not completed but the lovely pattern the evening sun is making against the barn wall. I hear my wind chimes moving with their soft melody in the breeze. I see the cats tumbling and playing in the spring grass. I pet the cat that has staked out the spot on my lap. I register the occasional objection of my dogs as they quarrel with one another or guard the fenceline from the advancement of feline intruders. I see the vehicles passing along the road in front of me. Many (that I don’t even know) waving at me in the early dusk. Right now, I can smell the jasmine still flowering on the vine. On other days it will be the hay, just cut in the field that is fresh on my senses. I am dirty. I am tired. I am most at peace.
If I could learn to take this time of contentment and spread it over to my other activities and be more in “the moment” I know I will be a richer person. If I could just learn to wait for it and enjoy the wait, life would be fuller for me.